It is raining.
I am watching the drops gather and fall from the eave right above my window.
A beloved friend's mom died today and I feel as if I've been taken out at the knees. Sending love is all I can do. I cannot change a disease or the way the day dawned or take away the sadness.
Instead, I find myself having to bring myself back to right now, this moment, this mug of tea, this clacking keyboard, this breath.
I went to vermont on friday. I walked through Manchester with Della on my not-so-hippish hip, and got shoes and some pants for della and felt very much away but no where near at home.
I went to vermont on sunday, to putney this time, home for me in the early 80s and I walked around the school and felt peaceful and open and full of possibility. I looked up in the faculty lounge and was treated to ART hanging from the ceiling-- an angel, wireframe, a pen and ink sketch that felt weightless and magnificent and oh how I love being surprised like that.
I found a 5 leaf clover as I walked through knee high pasture
carried Della on my not so hippish hip and for once she felt weightless.
and you know what? for a while, so did I.