But then, there are these amazing familiar voices- saying don't panic. Or go ahead and panic, we've got your back.
So, thank you thank you thank you. Thank you for being stunned with me. Thank you for understanding my caution and my astonishment and my fear and my whoa nellie this is so friggin crazystrange feelings. I am happy, but I am so much more than that. Scared and freaked out and feel dislocated and displaced. And in such a foreign land.
Thank you to all who have commented, those I have never heard from before (Peachy! and anonymouses/mice?), some I have only known recently (Elizabeth! Jim and Jenn! meinsideout!), some for a while (sprogblogger, onwardandsideways, 40+) as well as "old" friends (my "posse"- Maredsous, Joannah, Elle, GradeA, bb, Nic, Whatif, alittlebitofsomething)- and my real life friends- Karen, Alyssa, Sarah, David. Oh your words mean so much. I know how I have felt when I see that someone out there has a positive result, after all this craziness. It feels so fragile, and I always wanted to say something helpful to ease the fear that it is transient, or some sort of colossal mistake, that somehow this glimpse of something miraculous will end, the gift will be taken back. But I couldn't because no one can. The best we can do is be in each moment. Some moments I do feel happy. But mostly, I am stunned. Disbelieving. Astonished. And grateful, very very grateful-- not just for this, but for you. Thank you.