I can't whistle: thin skin

16 March 2009

thin skin

So you know how sometimes you think you have it together and are holding up ok and then one thing happens, heck, it could be anything-- say, for example, your sweetie accidentally leaning on the "send help" button in the exam room and folks running in to help, and then you start to laugh kinda and then you start to cry and then you are crying really hard and realizing that maybe, just maybe you are not quite as together as you thought?

Yea.... so. that would be me: not quite as together as I thought. IUI accomplished. Home on the sofa for no physical reason at all, just needing to NOT be at work with this thin skin.

7 comments:

Sarah said...: oh hugs to you, we have all been there. good for you taking the day to yourself. i recommend a few good pints of ben & jerry's. crossing everything for you kate!!; March 16, 2009 at 1:49 PM
Elle said...: Kate, I'm ashamed at myself for being such an absent blogger and commenter, but please know that I've been reading and thinking of you during the ups-and-downs of IVF/IUI #2. I, too, am visualizing egg meeting sperm in fallopian-tube-land for you. Screw petri dishes.

And if it's not, well, then you can think about next steps. On your schedule.

I'll be reading and rooting. In the meantime, snuggle in on that couch.

(And thanks, as always, for your lovely comments.); March 16, 2009 at 2:22 PM
Grade A said...: Kate,

Wow. A lot has happened while I was away this weekend. As always, you have handled things incredibly well (not that you always have to!), and I am rooting for you! I love the "screw the petri dish" comment"-yah-those don't always work, as we all have learned. Here's hoping the 'natural with a little help' method #4 is your lucky one. Keep on laughing 'til you cry..it gets the salt out.; March 16, 2009 at 7:36 PM
Joannah said...: I have never done such a thing! ;-); March 16, 2009 at 8:11 PM
What IF? said...: Sequestering oneself to get some mental space is even more important than taking time out for the physical stuff. I hope you can take it easy, process, and think in peaceful solitude. ((HUG)); March 16, 2009 at 9:54 PM
Eb said...: If I don't get arrested for being a the Terminator it will be a miracle.
Sorry its so tough. Thinking of you.; March 17, 2009 at 9:59 AM
Anonymous said...: oh big hugs lady. this has been a lot to manage these last few months. you're not alone in your crying jags know that. i wish you all the best for this wait. take it easy.; March 17, 2009 at 10:50 AM

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About this blog

I started this blog during struggles with infertility--struggles that resulted in countless IUIs, medications, procedures, 5 attempted IVF cycles, 2 pregnancies, one heartbreaking loss, and one miracle baby.

Parenthood left me feeling like I was not sure what to do here, with this amazing community. To talk about parenting felt boastful for those still and forever struggling. To not talk about it felt disingenuous. So here I am. I want to talk about my real life. Parenting. Midlife reassessment. Flailing. Finding myself. Mucking about.

So yes, I am a midlife parent of an amazing child.
Yes, I battled infertility and will be forever changed by every single moment of that journey.
I am imperfect and life is messy, but it is also so beautiful.

Among many other things, I hope to reconnect to myself through writing here. And I hope to connect with you too. Others out there, parenting maybe later in life. Maybe after struggling. Maybe struggling still. We can all use a safe place and a lot of compassion. That's what I am offering to you. I hope you'll stick around.

inside out

"The key is, starting from the inside out. Often you say, “I don’t know what to do.” True, you don’t know what to do. There are infinite possibilities. And a bunch of them haven’t worked for you. A lot of them have been tried, and they haven’t worked under what you think are the same conditions. And so, you sort of pace around, you don’t know what to do. Sometimes you don’t even know what you want to have. But you always, you always, if you will stop and think about it, you ALWAYS know how you want to feel."

--Abraham