05 March 2009


First: my apologies-- trust me- bruising is not a rookie mistake, the rushing was. I learned (and now relearned) that if I go slowly and pay attention and look first, I generally do not bruise. So, this was all about the rushing. Many folks bruise anyway no matter what. I generally do too in real life as a really fair skinned redhead, but when I look, I can usually avoid my bluegreen veins since I can see them through my crazy see-through (what melanin?) skin-- truly I meant no harm and did not mean to sound judgmental if I did.

Last time around I was all welted and bruised from the repronex (prior to my switch to menopur)-- and no matter where I injected or how carefully I looked, it was always awful and it always sucked a**. But this time, using the right drug from the get go, I am doing ok. No welts after about 10 minutes.  Only one bruise so far. This "so far" is really important since as I remember, the longer into this, the less virgin territory there is so anything can happen. So-- my apologies to anyone who might have taken offense at my lack of clarity.

As for my padding-- oh I still have plenty, just a little less. I've been off wheat and eggs and dairy for a few weeks after a food sensitivity screening and will start to reintroduce foods in a few more weeks to see how I feel. 

For me, this whole thing --this cycle--is much more about in-the-moment living than I am used to- an odd thing for a forecaster and regretter-- but I am trying to look at This moment, what do I need to do now? and then, what do I need to do next?  I am not looking at the whole path since I cannot see it from here. I do not know what the path will be, what the timing will be- I envy those who post an egg retrieval date when they are still suppressing (and find it to be accurate). I envy those whose bodies seem to align with a schedule of some sort (heck I envy those whose bodies Work!). I know I am more random (just look at my last cycle). So right now I am looking at tomorrow morning, kinda dreading the morning injection in some ways since the night passes so quickly it is like having two in a row, and of course resolute about it in others-- it is what I need to. BUT then I am off to the great north to the clinic for the ultrasound and E2- hopeful that there will be something to report that is good. And then I will know what is next.

1 comment:

Joannah said...

I think you are approaching this experience from a really good place. I found that living day to day, and not gazing too far ahead really helped me stay calm and not worried.

I look forward to reading your post-US report! :-)