I can't whistle: FOUND

03 November 2011

FOUND

Keys were found by my darlin'. Apparently someone (cough*della*cough) thought it would be GREAT FUN to hide them deep in the labyrinth of bottles in a 24 pack of bottled water, complete with 4 side shrink wrap. So my mind? not as lost as I thought, and keys are found. Happy me. It is the season of due dates and memory, and I've been spending a lot of contemplative time remembering last year as if it were some sort of dream. In fact, some of my dreams feel more real than my reality. I am sure that means something bad. But anyway, last year this time I was past my due date, enormous, anxious, worried about All That Could Happen especially BAD UNMENTIONABLE THINGS. Here I was a year ago:

Hard to believe the little bundle of energy named Della was ever contained in any way within that great big belly.

2 comments:

B. said...: My keys are usually found in a pair of unoccupied shoes beside the kitchen door, except when a pair of little feet decide to traipse around the house in such a key-carrier. Then, it takes a bit more searching to find them. Remotes, cell phones, and sunglasses are often similarly stored. Our little one loves to "put things away," which could mean anywhere.

I wonder if Della was annoyed when she couldn't get the keys back out. Keys are so much fun to play with!; November 5, 2011 at 10:58 PM
Erin Bakal said...: What a fun picture and a fun time remembering all of the anticipation of Ms. Della. I hope that you are taking good care of yourself and basking in the joys of an almost 1 year old (how did that happen?!).; November 8, 2011 at 4:11 PM

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About this blog

I started this blog during struggles with infertility--struggles that resulted in countless IUIs, medications, procedures, 5 attempted IVF cycles, 2 pregnancies, one heartbreaking loss, and one miracle baby.

Parenthood left me feeling like I was not sure what to do here, with this amazing community. To talk about parenting felt boastful for those still and forever struggling. To not talk about it felt disingenuous. So here I am. I want to talk about my real life. Parenting. Midlife reassessment. Flailing. Finding myself. Mucking about.

So yes, I am a midlife parent of an amazing child.
Yes, I battled infertility and will be forever changed by every single moment of that journey.
I am imperfect and life is messy, but it is also so beautiful.

Among many other things, I hope to reconnect to myself through writing here. And I hope to connect with you too. Others out there, parenting maybe later in life. Maybe after struggling. Maybe struggling still. We can all use a safe place and a lot of compassion. That's what I am offering to you. I hope you'll stick around.

inside out

"The key is, starting from the inside out. Often you say, “I don’t know what to do.” True, you don’t know what to do. There are infinite possibilities. And a bunch of them haven’t worked for you. A lot of them have been tried, and they haven’t worked under what you think are the same conditions. And so, you sort of pace around, you don’t know what to do. Sometimes you don’t even know what you want to have. But you always, you always, if you will stop and think about it, you ALWAYS know how you want to feel."

--Abraham