I can't whistle: decluttering my own self

14 February 2013

decluttering my own self

The start of the new year, and so many folks take to decluttering and resolutionating.
One of my decluttering projects is very personal: I am trying to see how I am getting in my own way and trying to see how to change that. As such, today I meet with my new wonderful coach. I am excited but it is hard to know that I will be facing some of my longstanding demons. I already have begun that sort of site excavation in the pre-work. I know that it will be messier before it declutters, but it is a really awkward time in any project like this where things look much worse, feel more out of control... and then, it starts to come together.

I am so great at helping other folks do this, and I *so suck* at doing this for myself. Luckily I found a wonderful coach to assist me. I cannot recommend Lorraine highly enough-- she is very smart (VERY), no bullshit, very intuitive, and I just want to curl up in a big chair and talk to her all day. Maybe someday we'll figure out how to make that happen.

As with so many transitions, just deciding it is time to make changes puts things into motion.

I already am on a better track.

I am happily taking some new risks that feel very very right-- one is a retreat I am planning for this coming October here in New England. Details are not complete yet (still deciding on a venue), but a lot is ready and up if you want to go check it out. Write me with concerns or questions. This will be introvert friendly and not at all a funky-artsy-competitive-who-is-cooler gathering. This will be funky, to be sure, but playful and soulful and supportive and good. Think about it. Pass it on. I can't wait to see what unfolds!

1 comment:

B. said...: A belated happy birthday to you! I can't believe I missed the workshop. The blizzard wiped it from my mind, but I do intend and hope to do a creative, crafty project before my niece is born at the end of March. It's been too long since I made something other than food.

Wishing you great success on your new track. Maybe when the threat of serious snow subsides, we might plan a get-together of some sort.; February 17, 2013 at 2:50 AM

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About this blog

I started this blog during struggles with infertility--struggles that resulted in countless IUIs, medications, procedures, 5 attempted IVF cycles, 2 pregnancies, one heartbreaking loss, and one miracle baby.

Parenthood left me feeling like I was not sure what to do here, with this amazing community. To talk about parenting felt boastful for those still and forever struggling. To not talk about it felt disingenuous. So here I am. I want to talk about my real life. Parenting. Midlife reassessment. Flailing. Finding myself. Mucking about.

So yes, I am a midlife parent of an amazing child.
Yes, I battled infertility and will be forever changed by every single moment of that journey.
I am imperfect and life is messy, but it is also so beautiful.

Among many other things, I hope to reconnect to myself through writing here. And I hope to connect with you too. Others out there, parenting maybe later in life. Maybe after struggling. Maybe struggling still. We can all use a safe place and a lot of compassion. That's what I am offering to you. I hope you'll stick around.

inside out

"The key is, starting from the inside out. Often you say, “I don’t know what to do.” True, you don’t know what to do. There are infinite possibilities. And a bunch of them haven’t worked for you. A lot of them have been tried, and they haven’t worked under what you think are the same conditions. And so, you sort of pace around, you don’t know what to do. Sometimes you don’t even know what you want to have. But you always, you always, if you will stop and think about it, you ALWAYS know how you want to feel."

--Abraham