29 April 2012

Ikea, balance and faith

Della, trying out her new bed (!) from Ikea. Bless Doug and his infinite patience and Yoda-ability to read/interpret Ikea instructions and make them come true--
someday, Della might actually sleep in the bed.  It is adorable, by the way, the Kritter bed .. two little wide eyed sheep on the headboard. Simple, low, short, small, cheap, but not cheaply made.  VERY comfortable (my new napping place?) and looks great.  The cat likes it too.

We've had a busy week with sickness then a week of no daycare (it is school break here in NH) and after a whirlwind week of adventures and bonding, tomorrow begins a semi-normal return to semi-predictable scheduling.

I am feeling off, people. Off, a little off kilter, a little off balance, a little unmoored.  I should really plot these on a calendar. Even though I am not back to periods yet, I bet I have some sort of cyclic hormonal something-or-other that is making me periodically blueish.  I joked with my sister that if I breast feed long enough, I can just segue into menopause.  But really, I swear it is a joke.

This week is a little weird schedule wise, with tomorrow being a mostly work at home day (usually I am at a client's office), so the week begins with a little space I hope to fill with workwork and with some katework too-- I am aching to reconnect with my creative sides.

I have an afternoon phone call scheduled with a new friend and coach, for a mutual session which is really exciting. Last time we talked it was click click click energizing loveliness and I hope tomorrow will bring more of the same. I love resonance that is positive like that. It makes me feel things are possible.

So I am looking forward to ending my day with her, then will pick up Della right afterwards. No time to ruin my resonance buzz with workwork.   Sometimes I do well with these things almost by accident and then feel a little amazed at my luck. Our last talk was at the same time of day and it felt GREAT>> so it was easy to do it *again*.  Brillant/Luck/Whathaveyou, happy all the same.

I've been thinking about clarity and how much I love it, when I realized that maybe my feelings of conflictedness come (at least sometimes) from a clarity I wish were different, not a complete lack of clarity. Maybe sometimes it is because I don't like the answer. And that realization was uncomfortable. And worthy of consideration.

I've been reading a bit about folks who make changes with FAITH. Faith is something I envy. I am more of a certainty girl (I know it is not that it is easy to see this with the life I am actually leading or have actually led). I want to say for the record that I would like a little more faith please. 


B. said...

Maybe if she sees YOU sleep in it, Della will follow your lead? Such a cute bed. I'm still living with the romantic notion that Charlotte will always be small enough to sleep in her crib, as-is. Maggie, on the other hand, will be too big for the crib by the time she's 18 months.

Happy week to you! Sounds like it'll be off to a wonderful start.

amazingk8 said...

Oh yes, there is definitely a hormonal cycle before your period resumes while breastfeeding. Its almost worst then getting your period because you have no clear physical symptom to explain why you feel like laughingcryingsulkingsleepingeatingyellingcrying


It kind of makes getting your period back feel empowering or at least maybe normalizing? Lol, if you can't tell this is what I'm going through. But you are not crazy to think you've noticed a pattern in your moods.

B. said...

Hi again! I found some of my "missing" posts- turned out I'd posted them on the sibling blog. I still think some others, recording Charlotte's development and milestones, may be missing. But, since I have a lot of blogging intentions that never make it to fruition, those posts may never have existed outside my own head.

I'll still back things up and write in a couple of baby books, just in case. Just wanted to let you know.

And while I've got you- now that it's nice out and not too cold, how about a playdate? I have a few friends at my old employer in your town who I'd like to visit and it would be great to see you and Della (and Susan and Hen if they can make it). I'm in no rush, and my calendar is wide open. Let me know what you think.