This past weekend I took a reiki class. Reiki 1 and 2.
Like so many things, it seemed to come up into my awareness almost accidentally (I've know about it, and thought about it, and put it on my list of things to explore)-- and one day about 2 weeks ago, I had a moment, looked at my list, and looked up Reiki training, New Hampshire, fully expecting nothing.
A Master practitioner, living TWO TOWNS OVER, holding training at her home June 2 and 3 and offering a discount for taking both levels and yes, there was room for me.
I want to tell you that my sister was going to join me and there was GREAT JOY in my heart at the prospect, then she couldn't for a reason that she could not control so someday we will have a sister gathering, or getaway, or something, so my heart can feel fulfilled by that oh-so-tantalizing-Almost.
The training was intense in that it took somewhat singular focus for 8 hours two days running. It was intense in that I was around 20 people I did not know in a room a bit small for the number and the variety. It was intense in that I did not realize how much I was hoping for an epiphany, an ah ha, a moment of realization or connection that made the whole thing make sense in the context of my bigger picture..... but what I felt was calm, and the teacher was amazing, and the group diverse and interesting...
I learned a lot --I sort of witnessed myself interacting in a way I had not had too many opportunities to in the recent past... during breaks, I found myself answering questions more than asking, and that is the opposite of what I am used to. Weird to field so many questions about myself, my baby...I would be talking to one person quietly then realize that a group had gathered to listen. I wonder what about my story needed to be told that way and what folks needed to hear? (one woman, 36, told me I gave her hope about having a family, and it was all I could do not to yell DO IT NOW!)
anyway, it was also a very interesting class, and certainly worthwhile... and I am now curious and open to the possibility that perhaps some ah has will sigh in in their own good time, most likely under my radar... helping me know things differently.
My belly was calmer after that day of hell last week, but in each hands-on session, it grumbled SO LOUDLY that all of my group could hear it even over the music.
I think what I think right now is this: this is about remembering rather than learning, trusting/having faith rather than sensing.... and we'll just have to see how that works with my busy brain and desire to Feel Something Happening...