cookies and otherness

I wish I had a clever name for this, this blue funk that happens just after a mild rush toward selfness. I get this feeling of AH, things are Coming Together, and that is often followed by a time of increased tenderness, increased feelings of loneliness, of otherness, of oddness... of being outside myself a little...

as if, in the act of centering, i slingshot myself out again into the wild dark.

so, a night of crappy sleep, and crazy dreams, and a wintery sunny morning where i let myself get too cold as if discomfort was what I deserve.

what the heck?

So yes. here i am. bundled up after a very hot shower...
contemplating cookies.