falling, saving myself, great fits and starts

once I wrote that flying is just falling and saving yourself over and over again, and I thought i was pretty clever but, of course, a bazillion other clever people have seen it the same way

so here I am
falling, saving myself, falling, saving myself.

I realized that I was stressing myself out, being crazy busy, working as hard as I could, putting in the biggest effort possible-- more hours of daycare meant more time to work, more hours of daycare meant I needed to work more time... and clients come and go, projects come and go... and
finally, after working like that-- there came a moment when I realized if I cut back on everything, that really, the only thing that would be different is my stress level.
Financially we'd be no better or worse off, but my days would get unwound from the crazy insanity of go go go go go go that I've been running, to something maybe more manageable.

Then, in the middle of that, there is summer, and Doug being away, and serial Della sickness and barfinesses thanks to daycare that kept me/us from being able to go and see him, and finally
yes
stop.
rebuild.
slowly.

Along with this, a new client who is a great fit.
And, my own heartwork, developing it fits and starts, culminating in a workshop I gave yesterday on everyday mindfulness that 11 brave and wonderful women attended... I was absolutely where I was supposed to be, doing what I was supposed to be doing.
Right fit.

So, I am in a rebuilding and regrouping phase. Daycare is not an option for summer, and I need to just know that and plan for it if Doug is away.
Working like a crazy insane person to pay for daycare to come out even or behind is actually crazy and insane of the option for working like a slightly less crazy and insane person leaves me in the same position.

Lesson learned.
For now.
Because right now I am in the saving myself part of the program.

Luscious retreat.

This is an invitation to check out my upcoming October retreat if you might be interested. I will not be harping about it here, I promise.
I'll probably mention it just a few more times.
Early bird pricing goes until May 15th.
I am about to do a bigger advertising push.
But you, YOU are my people. And if this calls to you, let me know. I'd be happy to answer any questions you have. For example, there is a fridge for meds. Dartmouth and Boston are both 2 hours away. There is a local hospital for bloodwork if needed.

brain yoga

In spite of the weather, I'm having a rather wonderful weekend.
I'm really enjoying the campfire workshop over on Heartwork.
If you're interested, here's a link to the opening campfire post from Friday night. Trying new things (without an obvious downside) feels really good to my brain. Like a brain yoga class.

It's not too late to check it out. And it is free. And really surprisingly fun.
As an added bonus, there's a funny video featuring a cameo of Della.
Hope you'll stop by.
(While you're there, check out the Retreats tab-- something exciting coming soon there too!!!!)

Free Online Campfire Gathering, February 8-10

Free Online Campfire, February 8-10 over at Heartwork.

This totally free virtual workshop is about quiet bravery: taking small steps, creating small adventures, allowing ourselves to explore new things.

I invite you to join me over on Heartwork for an opening campfire on Friday night, followed by two days of exploring what it is like to try new things. Try saying no if you always say yes. Trying saying yes if you always say no. Order a latte with whipped cream rather than tea. Try those pastels, try that guitar, that recipe, that new language, that new pose, that trail, that knitting, that writing project, that poem. Try. Try, do poorly, try again, be gentle with yourself.

Allow yourself room to be a beginner again. 
(Are you in? Please leave a comment and let me know!)

Where: Heartwork!
When: Friday February 8th- Sunday February 10th
What: A totally free freeform online gathering supporting your exploration of what it means to be a beginner.
Requirements: Open mind, self compassion, and something to try, something or things to be new at. Come by for suggestions and support.
Opening campfire is Friday night, and I'll be posting encouragement and ideas 3 times on Saturday and 3 on Sunday.You don't have to be anywhere at any time.
RSVP: It would be great to know who's along for the journey. Comment or shoot me an email to RSVP.
And please pass along the invitation on to anyone you think might be interested! These online gatherings are so great-- there is *such power in shared intention*.

I hope to see you there!