20 June 2012

solstice

Sheets up over windows and windows shut tight.
It is due to be insanely hot today, tomorrow.  Without AC, we manage by tucking in, holding in the cooler night air for as long as possible, holding off the direct sunlight.

Solstice feels so fitting right now. It is a wildly transitional time for me-- I'll share more soon, but professionally I am making some good but scary shifts, some good and surprisingly focused choices, and doing some really exciting exploration for potential collaboration.

Della is amazing-- comes home filthy from playing outside every day... new words every moment.  Excellent pronunciation on hard words, and garbled-della-speak on easy ones... so many surprises.  She is starting to hold my face and look at me directly in my eyes when she thinks I have not heard her-- Oh! it is lovely.  I almost want to play that up, it is so tender.
She is suddenly calling me Mommy instead of Momma (sad kate) and calls herself Me, and knows what Mine is. She knows she is Della. She also says "I".

June 15, 2012 was the day of WHY.  Why? She asked, and asked again and again and again and has not stopped.  And so, it has begun.

She is mobile and fearless, wanting to climb and slide and swing and jump.  She cannot jump yet, but tries. She dances and sings to herself, and gets into little tunes and repeats words (upanddown) as songs.

She loves being outside, wants to go on many walks. Wants very badly (just like momma) for wild animals to come and play with her, and is bereft when they run away or fly away.

She loves Llamas.

We have a farm we visit, and it is wonderful.

This weekend we'll head to Maine to see Doug who is up for the season.

We're managing days by having a rhythm, aided by Elmo (praise Elmo)--  I am clean because of Elmo.
She has lunch because of Elmo.  It is amazing how fast I can shower.

She hates baths, specifically, hates water running down her body. Will not get in, so sponge baths are the thing. She now has so much hair that it takes for-ev-er to wash it this way (damp washcloth instead of water)....

She loves stepping and splashing in puddles, ponds, lakes, streams  (WTF???)  so I hope there's hope.

We are still nursing, she shows no sign of slowing down here partway through month 19.
We are still co-sleeping, because it works.

This past weekend I visited the Putney School where I went for 2 years way back when... it was reunion weekend, but not for my year, so it was safe. I flew under the radar, saw my dear friend Alyssa, and Della had a blast not needing to be hand held.  Out she went into a field with a bunch of other kids (all much bigger), and I will post a photo (wee speck on right of group is BRAVE INDEPENDENT DELLA.


Way out there, fine, happy, away from me.

Independent
Brave
Unaware of being either. She just IS.
Oh, I have so much to learn from this fierce little teacher of mine.


5 comments:

markmarv2004 said...

Just as your father continues to learn from you...xoxoPA

B. said...

Hmmm... I used to live right across the street from a llama farm near you. The same one? Is it in a town just north of yours, on a dirt road off a dirt road, on the top of a hill (mountain?) with an expansive view of sunsets? It's so strange that we met only after I'd moved away and you'd moved there somewhat reluctantly.

I love the fearlessness and independence. It's my biggest hope that I never mess my girls up , causing them to lose the incredible confidence they have. "I can't," and "I don't know" have crept into Charlotte's daily speech and that worries me.

Much love,
B

Erin Bakal said...

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful time-- the idea that she catches your face to look you in the eye when she's not sure that you've heard; it melts my heart. Go forth fierce, brave Della; teach us all how to be. Much love.

Erin Bakal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Secret Hippie said...

What a great story and great photo!