I can't whistle: Timing

18 September 2010

Timing

Proving once again that the universe is a strange and complex place,

Sprogblogger is probably having her baby right this very moment as her water broke at 1:30ish this morning.

I find myself praying to any benevolent gods that might be listening for her to have a dreamy delivery and a very healthy baby boy.

She is so very ready to meet Henry, and has been so very ready for several weeks, that I can only hope with all of My heart that her heart will be filled to overflowing with consuming happiness as he is placed in her arms. No baby has ever been wanted, anticipated, or loved more than this one.

I know grief and joy can coexist. And please god/goddess/all that is, I know of no one more deserving of JOY than Sprogblogger.

And to Sprogblogger's beloved mom, Sarah, should you ever read this, please know you are in my heart (you are anyway, dear one), but now particularly. I cannot imagine being where you are, please just know that in the only ways we can, my family and I are all sending great big gobs of love to you.

5 comments:

IF Optimist, then... said...: Eloquent. Truly so.; September 18, 2010 at 3:01 PM
B. said...: I too hope the joy shines through when Sprogblogger holds Henry for the first time, and I hope she senses all the good wishes and loving thoughts that so many people are sending her.

Thank you Kate for sending the lucky elephant to Mo.

It's a crazy world, isn't it? It sometimes makes me wonder if something wonderful happens so soon after a tragedy to bring a sort of balance back into the universe.; September 19, 2010 at 8:15 PM
tireegal68 said...: Just popping in to say, hi! Hope you are doing okay. :); September 19, 2010 at 9:33 PM
sprogblogger said...: Thank you SO MUCH for your kind wishes & thoughts - both for my 'little' family and my "big" family. Henry is beautiful and amazing and I am the luckiest woman in the world - at least til your little one gets born and then you & I can duke it out over who gets that title!

Seriously can't wait for you to meet him, my dear; just as I can't wait to meet yours. Thinking of you, and smiling, smiling, smiling!; September 20, 2010 at 2:28 PM
Sprogblgger's mom said...: My Dear Kate,
I do read every one of your posts and I thank you so much for your love and good thoughts for me and for my family.
You take care of YOU, sweet Kate. And know that you are and always will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Healthy baby; healthy Kate!
Love, Sarah; September 22, 2010 at 4:54 PM

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About this blog

I started this blog during struggles with infertility--struggles that resulted in countless IUIs, medications, procedures, 5 attempted IVF cycles, 2 pregnancies, one heartbreaking loss, and one miracle baby.

Parenthood left me feeling like I was not sure what to do here, with this amazing community. To talk about parenting felt boastful for those still and forever struggling. To not talk about it felt disingenuous. So here I am. I want to talk about my real life. Parenting. Midlife reassessment. Flailing. Finding myself. Mucking about.

So yes, I am a midlife parent of an amazing child.
Yes, I battled infertility and will be forever changed by every single moment of that journey.
I am imperfect and life is messy, but it is also so beautiful.

Among many other things, I hope to reconnect to myself through writing here. And I hope to connect with you too. Others out there, parenting maybe later in life. Maybe after struggling. Maybe struggling still. We can all use a safe place and a lot of compassion. That's what I am offering to you. I hope you'll stick around.

inside out

"The key is, starting from the inside out. Often you say, “I don’t know what to do.” True, you don’t know what to do. There are infinite possibilities. And a bunch of them haven’t worked for you. A lot of them have been tried, and they haven’t worked under what you think are the same conditions. And so, you sort of pace around, you don’t know what to do. Sometimes you don’t even know what you want to have. But you always, you always, if you will stop and think about it, you ALWAYS know how you want to feel."

--Abraham