22 August 2012


The amazing Della is 21 months old. Plus 13 days.
Last time we were up at camp, she sat on a horse.
She sings.
We play imaginary everything.
She pretends she is a snake
or a frog

Has a pathological fear of spiders.
Has learned from some heathen to make a shriek heard round the world, tangled in with the word NO while going boneless, or pushing off me with all of her strength, or flinging herself backwards out of my arms, or clawing at my face.
I hate it. I'm just sayin'.
I hold my face still. Count to 3 before I respond, but man alive and boy howdy (my two favorite superheros this week), it really really sucks.

She has been insanely wonderful in all of our travels.  Adjusting to new places, back and forth, back and forth. Adjusting to seeing Doug and leaving again.  Adjusting to the changing rhythms of weekends, to daycare.

We still co sleep, which is a mixed blessing.
She still wakes at 4am (Hello Orion! I missed you!)
We are still nursing. (Baby led weaning anyone? um, hello?)

She still loves tractors
Our favorite llama died of old age, so now we are trying to bond with alpacas, which are entirely less fun to say.

She is amazing, people.  I still am rocked by how much I love her. How inept I feel. How blessed. How old. How awestruck.  How lucky. How lucky. How lucky.
And yes, she was, in fact, wearing a giant monkey/sheep/woolen hat with long dark braid-like-objects while eating breakfast (cheerios = yar yars). Don't you?


Dream Seeker said...

Beautiful blessing and beautiful bean that she is! Thank you for sharing...

Very excited that you are still nursing and co-sleeping - have you heard of The Green Parent magazine www.thegreenparent.co.uk? It's amazing, but I would say that because I work for them! But the articles are so inspiring and positive - all about attachment parenting and raising kids with conscience. It's been a huge source of inspiration for me over ten years and I feel very blessed to work writing and editing for them. They sell it in the States plus they have a fantastic forum of like-minded folks.

I followed your healing process avidly but lamely didn't get a chance to drop in and say well done. So, just to say I think you're amazing and brave - well done for taking charge of your own healing and knowing when to step back, and thank you for sharing xxxx

Anonymous said...

Della is of an age to enjoy the "Llama Llama" picture book series. They address common childhhood fears and hangups (going to bed, missing mama) in rhyme, with sensitivity, and are completely wonderful. Especially for someone who loves llamas.

Emily Erin said...

What a wonderful photo. I love that Cheerios are yar-yars. We're struggling to tell the difference between Abby's vehement "No"s and her pointing out and identifying noses. Learning to talk is hard, and learning to listen well is even harder!

Thanks for tackling grief so eloquently and for honoring your own needs to stop when picking at the scab hurt. Sending love.