life by chocolate

Today, instead of just surviving, I've decided to live.
This took more work than I care to admit, but I've stacked the cards in my favor.
I began the day with tea and chocolate, and a sunrise under a clearish sky for the first time in days.
A few minutes of guitar.
A conversation with my sister. (Please check out her beautiful site, and be sure to go to this page for some amazing writing.)
And a conversation with a dear friend.

I'm ok.

This has sucked. Other tragedies (9/11) have struck in the midst of other personal horrors or somehow have not felt quite so personal (like the tsunamis).  Maybe they were just too big. Or too far away. This one, wow, this one struck me to the core.

I have finally realized that there is nothing I can do to make it not have happened.
But there are things I can do now.
I can keep loving people. I can pay attention. I can listen. I can be compassionate. I can think about consequences. I can apologize.  I can be kind. I can be honest. I can cultivate peace in my heart, in my home, in my family, in my community, in my world.

I'll write again soon with an update on my not-weaning. But for now, I just wanted to say thank you for your kindness. To hear your voices here, to know I was not alone in my struggle and sadness, it has made a difference.