I can't whistle: 18 months yesterday

10 May 2012

18 months yesterday

18 months and I cannot quite get my head around this miniature moody teenager living in our midst....this dazzling beauty, so smart and funny, so sure of what she wants, the way she wants it, so unable to adjust to our slow rate of understanding, or, worse, getting it wrong. She is ferocious, wonderful, busy, with the biggest best smile, and wonderful snorty laugh (that's my girl). Dimples, a love of Shrek (wree) and Elmo (ELMO!), curly hair that is 8" long when stretched out that she sometimes plays with and that I play with often...
last night we lay in bed and I looked at her amazing face, right there, Right There next to mine... Sometimes I am truly breathless with wonder.

She loves to look at the moo and tars
She loves to swee (swing) and go down the slide
She loves being in the backpack on daddy Doug (back)
She loves toast (TOAST! + happy wriggly dance)
She loves finding patterns that she knows, apples, frogs, dogs, cats, cows, stars...
She loves cake, she calls it, excitedly, dirt! (dellaspeak for dessert).

She hates baths, truly...
and is not fond of diaper changes
does not like being rushed into dressing if she is not ready
will not try new foods except the rare sometimes or when daddy sneaks it in

She is not fond of the car, gets impatient with drives quickly, and sometimes fights a great big sad fight when we get in...

She runs and dances and climbs and seems fearless (oy!)
She loves being held until she doesn't.
She is tender and fierce.
She says a good firm unapologetic No, and a very happy Yes (yeah yeah yeah)

She asks about Dada when he is not home yet, or in the other room, or sleeping... and just about jumps out of her skin in happiness when he appears.
She runs toward me when I pick her up at daycare, and shows me everything. Gardens, sandbox, slide, big rock, big stumps, dirt...

Firmly into 2T clothes, size 6 shoes getting tight, and on the cusp of size 5 diapers...

Della. Wow. 18 months already. DELIGHT.

(crazy great photos by Susan Mullen www.susanmullenphotography.com/blog)

5 comments:

sprogblogger said...: Oh she is so lovely, and sounds like such a joy. An 18-month-old-TODDLER joy, but a joy nevertheless!

And those photos make me want to drive to Maine for a photo session with her. She is such an incredible photographer!; May 10, 2012 at 5:00 PM
B. said...: Dirt! Love all of this. She's truly delightful (and daring!). Hold on tight and document often... the changes I saw in Charlotte between 18 and 24 months were truly profound. Like baby to PERSON profound. Love to you all!; May 10, 2012 at 11:38 PM
Nic said...: I can not believe she is 18 months already! She is so adorable. I am pleased she is doing so well. X; May 11, 2012 at 4:28 AM
tireegal68 said...: Oh she is such a wonderful toddler! Gorgeous! How did we all get here? Amazing! Congratulations:); May 12, 2012 at 7:31 PM
Joannah said...: She is a beautiful child! You've got me thinking about all the next six months hold for Michaela. Wow!; May 12, 2012 at 11:23 PM

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About this blog

I started this blog during struggles with infertility--struggles that resulted in countless IUIs, medications, procedures, 5 attempted IVF cycles, 2 pregnancies, one heartbreaking loss, and one miracle baby.

Parenthood left me feeling like I was not sure what to do here, with this amazing community. To talk about parenting felt boastful for those still and forever struggling. To not talk about it felt disingenuous. So here I am. I want to talk about my real life. Parenting. Midlife reassessment. Flailing. Finding myself. Mucking about.

So yes, I am a midlife parent of an amazing child.
Yes, I battled infertility and will be forever changed by every single moment of that journey.
I am imperfect and life is messy, but it is also so beautiful.

Among many other things, I hope to reconnect to myself through writing here. And I hope to connect with you too. Others out there, parenting maybe later in life. Maybe after struggling. Maybe struggling still. We can all use a safe place and a lot of compassion. That's what I am offering to you. I hope you'll stick around.

inside out

"The key is, starting from the inside out. Often you say, “I don’t know what to do.” True, you don’t know what to do. There are infinite possibilities. And a bunch of them haven’t worked for you. A lot of them have been tried, and they haven’t worked under what you think are the same conditions. And so, you sort of pace around, you don’t know what to do. Sometimes you don’t even know what you want to have. But you always, you always, if you will stop and think about it, you ALWAYS know how you want to feel."

--Abraham