Was away for about 24 hours--
came back to some great news--- Sarah and April both got positives!
and some hard news-- Emily and BB both got negatives--I am sure they could stand a little internet love.
24 hours away- 24 hours with the stated objective of having very little discussion about jobs (the one that will be lost in August and the stress of finding a new one), IVF, or any other obviously stress inducing subject.
And mostly I found out that suck at this. From the outside I did fine I think- but the inside? I found myself self-censoring, moving myself away from thoughts as they came up. Like meditation, these things kept coming up and I kept steering myself away- over and over and over...
No matter what, it was good to get away, good to reconnect and good to talk about other things for a little while. I even spent some time looking at things outside my roaring head- those wheeling seagulls, that light tracing the top of the breaking waves, that sweet guy across the table.