04 February 2009


A quick update to say today is cycle day 1- a call to the clinic resulted in me being on the pill for 19 days to get into the queue,
so yes, we are doing this thing.
They've already started putting medications aside for me (!) which is amazingly wonderful. I guess they went from none to some to some more.... so, I guess I have my own shoebox or something.

I feel so mixed, so crazy. The clarity is this: yes, if I do not try this, I will always wonder what if ....
and that does not mean I am not conflicted, I sure am. This is crazy, it is unlikely, it is in some ways really really irresponsible, it is selfish... and yes, I am absolutely sure my future self would come shake me and say just try it kate. just do this thing. otherwise how will you know?

I'll be back on when I have a plan.
Happy to hear Maredsous is back in the um, saddle? back on the horse? the merrygoround? (why is there no good saying for this?)- Keeping my fingers crossed for her and for all of you who are out there galloping.


Sarah said...

Webster's definition of selfish: concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself; seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others

i don't think seeking to fulfill something in our hearts is necessarily selfish. i mean it's not like you're trying for EIGHT!

bb said...

I am so happy you are able to try again and how amazing that they are helping you with your meds. Now that you have one under your belt and with a few changes this could be really great! I am really hopeful for you!

Parenthood For Me said...

This is the first time I have visited your blog.

I am reaching out to my fellow bloggers to talk about my new non profit Parenthood for Me.org. I am an adoptive mom who underwent IF for 4 years. Our mission is to provide financial and emotional support to those starting families through adoption or medical intervention. Please visit our website and blog http://parenthoodforme.blogspot.com. We are trying to raise awareness and build up the endowement so that we can begin to help people start their families.
Thank you,
Erica Schlaefer

Joannah said...

That's great! I really believe that when one has a need the resources will be made available. I'm glad you took a leap of faith for this!