How odd to talk about "normal" OB stuff, pregnant lady stuff, fatigue, breasts, feelings of barfiness....
no mention of dead or dying babies, no dire percentages, no words of warning or bated breath, just.... you're pregnant, here's what to expect, here's what to avoid...
In fact, now our chances of a dire outcome are less than 5%
and in two weeks, at the 1st trimester screening, if all is well, there'll be less than 1% chance of a dire outcome...
Standing at the edge of the woods in COMPLETE DISBELIEF and awe, really.
I saw our little one move
saw arm buds
saw heart flickering
cursed the shit ultrasound that OBs have versus the hubble telescope imaging of the RE's office...
there's this HUGE separation between what I see on the screen and what I can imagine happening inside me right this very moment. Cognitive dissonance. I see it up there, know it to be true, feel relief and astonishment, but to imagine That, in Me, right now, right now, it is almost more than I can comprehend.
I left the freebies in the bathroom at the Dr office, not quite ready to tempt fate so blatantly with a diaper bag filled with formula propaganda. But I did swipe a free fit pregnancy. Imagining, someday, I will be able to actually exercise (gently) again in some form that is more widely recognized than toothbrushing.
So, nuchal fold etc in two weeks at the MFM I really like but who was, unfortunately, the very same guy who was there the day we discovered our missed miscarriage. I hoped not to return there, but will since he is a great guy and know we are in good hands. I am just hoping/expecting out outcome will be (already is) a whole, hell of a lot better this time around.
(holy shit folks, I'm pregnant)