19 November 2010

bloggy anniversary and things I am learning

I missed my blog anniversary on the 12th, happily busy with other things. 442 posts, 2 years, 100k+ visitors, a place to spill my heart out, whimper, wail, rage, celebrate, ponder, wonder, delight, think out loud, explore fear and loss and, now, revel in all that it means to have somehow magically succeeded...
I cannot thank you all enough for reading and lurking, commenting and sending such love and hope and support and positive energy--I cannot imagine how I would have made it without you and this amazing community.
Thank you, truly, deeply and humbly.

Something I have learned about fear from my baby daughter:
Gas pains** bring rigid body wailing, heart wrenching howling cries, tears and gasping, then a moment later, it is over, peace reigns, her face goes calm, she nurses, body relaxed.
She is not holding fear it will come again, or maintaining the pain by holding on to the memory of how bad it was. She is just simply being.
Me? I am a creature of dread and habit, of emotional regurgitation and an infinite capacity for replaying discomfort...

Oh universe.
I have so much to learn.

**all hail the mylecon drops


IVF 40+ said...

wow, that is a lot of visitors! and rightly so.
Isn't it wonderful to learn how to live again through the little ones.
Hope your both doing well.

Patricia said...

I have been reading awhile now and I love to read this blog. Your daughter is beautiful and I'm so glad you finally received the wonderful gift of a child.


Emily Erin said...

What a lovely way to think about and release fear. Thank you for sharing. So glad that things are going well for your family.

Sarah said...

Happy Blog Anniversary Katie!