I can't whistle: 2 years

06 February 2012

2 years

2 years ago today
our sweet Della began in a petrie dish in Waltham Massachusetts.
Since the image of the cell cluster is on Doug's computer, and it is late, and I am tired, I've decided to mark the occasion with a reposting of one of my most favorite photos:

Dear Della,
I know you already know this, with the child-innocence of no can'ts or shoulds or oughts or have tos, no preconceived notions on what is possible or impossible... nothing yet to make you feel less than: you have my whole heart.
And it's a big one, so, no mean feat there.
And I promise, with every bit of my big big heart, that to the best of my ability, I will always support you in feeling whole, Enough, fabulously and totally Della. And I promise to hold all those things for you in those times when you can't.
Baby, I've got your back.

5 comments:

Joannah said...: It's been quite a journey. You're so blessed to have each other.

:); February 6, 2012 at 10:48 PM
tireegal68 said...: Beautiful!!! And a reminder of our transfer anniversary. Two beautiful years of love and hope and fulfillment!; February 7, 2012 at 1:23 AM
Kristin Noelle said...: I'm all teared up, Kate, because in your words, I felt the power of the universe. I felt it speaking to me.

Yay Kate and Doug! Yay Della! Happy milestone to all of you!; February 7, 2012 at 2:03 AM
Sprogblogger said...: Oh yes! Beautiful!; February 7, 2012 at 8:29 AM
Erin Bakal said...: I LOVE that picture, and I love so much that Della joined your lives 2 years ago!!; February 9, 2012 at 5:16 PM

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About this blog

I started this blog during struggles with infertility--struggles that resulted in countless IUIs, medications, procedures, 5 attempted IVF cycles, 2 pregnancies, one heartbreaking loss, and one miracle baby.

Parenthood left me feeling like I was not sure what to do here, with this amazing community. To talk about parenting felt boastful for those still and forever struggling. To not talk about it felt disingenuous. So here I am. I want to talk about my real life. Parenting. Midlife reassessment. Flailing. Finding myself. Mucking about.

So yes, I am a midlife parent of an amazing child.
Yes, I battled infertility and will be forever changed by every single moment of that journey.
I am imperfect and life is messy, but it is also so beautiful.

Among many other things, I hope to reconnect to myself through writing here. And I hope to connect with you too. Others out there, parenting maybe later in life. Maybe after struggling. Maybe struggling still. We can all use a safe place and a lot of compassion. That's what I am offering to you. I hope you'll stick around.

inside out

"The key is, starting from the inside out. Often you say, “I don’t know what to do.” True, you don’t know what to do. There are infinite possibilities. And a bunch of them haven’t worked for you. A lot of them have been tried, and they haven’t worked under what you think are the same conditions. And so, you sort of pace around, you don’t know what to do. Sometimes you don’t even know what you want to have. But you always, you always, if you will stop and think about it, you ALWAYS know how you want to feel."

--Abraham