I can't whistle: Happy leap day

29 February 2012

Happy leap day

Snow
Fever
Mindful return to the fungie (7 minutes is my magical number)
Heater cranked up against my achy chills
Lights on against the dark

Hot water with a shot of chai (a dreamy drink, try it sometime!, not a latte) scenting the room with spicy wonderfulness.
A great talk with my sister to kick off the day.
I feel shitty, but things do not suck. So I'm up when maybe I should be down...but I kind of don't want to sleep through it!

I just sort of feel like things are brewing and things are possible, even if I don't know what. Maybe just tea with toast and cinnamon, maybe a wild rush of work that needs doing will get done. Maybe all of that wonderful soul work I've been working on will be percolating away in my periphery, about to blurp out something ah-ha-tasitc.

Even if today just brings the feelings of possibility and unsuckiness and the magic of snowfall?
I'm in.

Happy leap day everyone.

2 comments:

sprogblogger said...: And right back to you--Happy Leap Day! And may it be a most productive and happy one for you!; February 29, 2012 at 1:11 PM
IF Optimist, then... said...: Where is my brain that I didn't realize today was a leap day? I knew it was coming and then I blinked and it was gone. I lurves me some rooibus chai. Had some today in fact. Celeste grabbed my tea cup and slurped and slurped, then the Viv polished off another third leaving mommy with a few paltry drops and a big grin.; March 1, 2012 at 3:07 AM

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About this blog

I started this blog during struggles with infertility--struggles that resulted in countless IUIs, medications, procedures, 5 attempted IVF cycles, 2 pregnancies, one heartbreaking loss, and one miracle baby.

Parenthood left me feeling like I was not sure what to do here, with this amazing community. To talk about parenting felt boastful for those still and forever struggling. To not talk about it felt disingenuous. So here I am. I want to talk about my real life. Parenting. Midlife reassessment. Flailing. Finding myself. Mucking about.

So yes, I am a midlife parent of an amazing child.
Yes, I battled infertility and will be forever changed by every single moment of that journey.
I am imperfect and life is messy, but it is also so beautiful.

Among many other things, I hope to reconnect to myself through writing here. And I hope to connect with you too. Others out there, parenting maybe later in life. Maybe after struggling. Maybe struggling still. We can all use a safe place and a lot of compassion. That's what I am offering to you. I hope you'll stick around.

inside out

"The key is, starting from the inside out. Often you say, “I don’t know what to do.” True, you don’t know what to do. There are infinite possibilities. And a bunch of them haven’t worked for you. A lot of them have been tried, and they haven’t worked under what you think are the same conditions. And so, you sort of pace around, you don’t know what to do. Sometimes you don’t even know what you want to have. But you always, you always, if you will stop and think about it, you ALWAYS know how you want to feel."

--Abraham