11 February 2012
And today, I turn 45.
Here I am, suddenly (it seems) finding myself midway through the middle.
I had trouble with this one. I usually don't. Birthdays for me are days to thank my mom, thank my parents, and sort of feel awe. I could freak out about mortality any old day. So I don't usually get swept up in birthday angst. But this one came with some pre-anxiety. Maybe it is because I am still seeking my path(s). Maybe it is because it feels very midlifey in a way other birthday's somehow avoided (44? still "early" 40s!). Not sure, but with relief I can say that today dawned with no anxiety. "There", I felt, with some lightness, some solidity. "There".