I can't whistle: not.quite.yet

28 February 2009

not.quite.yet

Um. So. This morning came but no period yet. So no ultrasound yet. (Sorry Dennis, perhaps another time). I'm ok. Realizing again and again that the one overarching message I am learning about all this- this babymaking, this IVF, is that it is going to go how it goes no matter what I am wanting. And really, as I said before, except for sabotage, the only thing I can do is play it as it comes.

Whenever that may be.

I betcha by about 2 this afternoon, I'll be curled around a heating pad. But not quite yet.

5 comments:

Grade A said...: It will come. You are right-one thing we gals have learned is that nothing happens when scheduled. If we all ran a collective airline, we'd get horrible marks for timeliness. It will come.; February 28, 2009 at 10:04 AM
Joannah said...: I've just learned in this process to take things as they come. I'm living one day at a time which is not in my nature really. I'm a planner. But it's so much easier to just let go and go with it.

I wish you all the best this time! Enjoy your weekend.; February 28, 2009 at 10:05 AM
Grade A said...: Kate,
Thanks for your good thoughts. It turns out that she WAS missing a zero! I just updated my post. All is well again. I will continue to wish for no blood for me and the exact opposite for you.
Magsy; February 28, 2009 at 12:19 PM
What IF? said...: Kate, thanks for all the encouraging comments you've left on my blog. I really appreciate it.

How ironic that some of us are praying for periods, while others are praying for it to just stay the hell away. I hope AF comes soon for you.

It's so hard not being in control of the timeline (or anyting IVF-related), but I try to think of it as a precursor to pregnancy when the loss of control becomes even more pronounced. ;-); February 28, 2009 at 8:06 PM
Anonymous said...: I tell you - us girls spend half our lives hoping our period will stay away - prom, vacations, hot dates with cute boys, trying to make a baby and the other half hoping it'll turn up - wanting it to come before a special event, trying to start a cycle - a careless date with a cute boy.
I hope you're putting the hot water bottle to good use in no time - and you can get this show on the road.; February 28, 2009 at 10:50 PM

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About this blog

I started this blog during struggles with infertility--struggles that resulted in countless IUIs, medications, procedures, 5 attempted IVF cycles, 2 pregnancies, one heartbreaking loss, and one miracle baby.

Parenthood left me feeling like I was not sure what to do here, with this amazing community. To talk about parenting felt boastful for those still and forever struggling. To not talk about it felt disingenuous. So here I am. I want to talk about my real life. Parenting. Midlife reassessment. Flailing. Finding myself. Mucking about.

So yes, I am a midlife parent of an amazing child.
Yes, I battled infertility and will be forever changed by every single moment of that journey.
I am imperfect and life is messy, but it is also so beautiful.

Among many other things, I hope to reconnect to myself through writing here. And I hope to connect with you too. Others out there, parenting maybe later in life. Maybe after struggling. Maybe struggling still. We can all use a safe place and a lot of compassion. That's what I am offering to you. I hope you'll stick around.

inside out

"The key is, starting from the inside out. Often you say, “I don’t know what to do.” True, you don’t know what to do. There are infinite possibilities. And a bunch of them haven’t worked for you. A lot of them have been tried, and they haven’t worked under what you think are the same conditions. And so, you sort of pace around, you don’t know what to do. Sometimes you don’t even know what you want to have. But you always, you always, if you will stop and think about it, you ALWAYS know how you want to feel."

--Abraham