I moved an inch today, called boston IVF, called to see if I can just get the testing done we talked about back in August when I met with Dr Oskowitz, their doc who specializes in older mom wannabes such as myself.
So, I called, left a message.
Several hours later they called back- kind but not warm, and yes, they found my file and oh, my referral ran out friday. So, I needed a new referral. And, as such, I need to make another appointment for another consultation. Which is fair but annoying since, gosh, friday?? But I was barely ready to call today. So, waiting is ok. (waiting is ok, waiting is ok, waiting is ok, waiting is ok...)
So, I have a new referral, they will call with an appointment time and day sometime for mid January. My next cycle starts this weekend. But it will come and go, no tests. That's ok, but I was kind of hoping I could sneak up on this.
Why Boston IVF? you folks have all been wonderful with suggestions, and Boston IVF was in the running for the top 3 and a place I'd already made contact with and been examined at... So I figured I would start there. Next will be Fertility Centers of New England.
So one inch forward, some more waiting, and some time for breathing. If I look at this the right way, I will have a few moments between now and then when this is not the first thing I think of each time I wake in the middle of the night, the first thing I think of in the morning, or when I pause or stumble... I want a break, even if for a little while, but I also want so much to be on the other side of this.
Sending weblove to Sarah at Dreams and false alarms for her shitty recent loss, and for Illanare for hers, and sending love to Sprogblogger as she is on the cusp of her IT WILL BE SUCCESSFUL transfer, and to Traci and her monsters, love to Nic who is healing and Mo who is on the cusp of a CCRM adventure and Elizabeth whose days are filled with love and uncertainty and K with her two and Dawn and her one and Beth who I will meet sometime soon I hope and Kate who is impatient and Kate who is sunflowering and Melissa and Michele and Phoebe and Eileen and Billy and Jules and Jem and t and Elle and Onward, and Backseat, and Whatif and one pink line, and Pundelina, and Maredsous (missing you!) and bb and Meinsideout, and Joannah, April, Sarah, Sassy and Serenity,Megan and Jenn (miss you and hope you are healing!) and Maddy and EB, music maker and Magsy and scifi, and future mom, and Amber and Dirk.... all of you I wish I could read more often...and I hope to catch up soon.
And to all of you who stopped in to offer suggestions and to let me know who you are-- sharing three little words-- how wonderful and heartfilling! Thank you so much for playing along.
Kate, tired but hopeful, resilient when not falling apart, ready, waiting.