28 December 2009

Gratitude and love

Oh yes EB, you are so right, and thank you for the gentle reminder-- so many many good things Have happened this year. I met most of you- and have enjoyed such an amazing community of women mostly with the occasional manperson, and such amazing understanding and warmth and love and support and kindness and an occasional thoughtful and kindhearted kick in the ass.

So many of my lovelies are pregnant or will be soon (SPROGBLOGGER) and so many had such beautiful babies this year.

If we go by my blog list alone, out of maybe 50, 30 have gotten pregnant, stayed pregnant and have had babies or are darn near about to. I have on my list triplets, 7 sets of twins at least, and bunches of singletons. GREAT statistics ladies! Some have gotten derailed by life, or health, or both... others are like me, waiting and hoping and trying with various bits and pieces.

See? there really is so much to celebrate. I celebrate all of you, and our tenacity and resilience and hope. I celebrate passion and friendship and love in all the various ways it shows itself.
I even honor fear for trying so hard to keep us safe.

So yeah, while this year was not all sunshine and daisies, it sure has held a lot of love. And for that I am profoundly grateful.

I was going to write about fear and stumbling and identity (still, again, forever). I will wait. And I will wait perhaps until the new year to ask for your help with finding my true calling and a new way to make a living that does not eat my life force for breakfast. But not today.

Today,
thank you.
and thank you 2009. I learned more this year than I ever would have imagined, and endured more than I thought I could. I also felt the amazing astonishment of pregnancy and saw two lines on that crazy pee stick and a magical heartbeat. Nothing can take away that experience and that awe and wonder. And there was so much beauty. There always is. It is just so hard to remember to look.

My 10 seconds today:
this, you, thank you. I am totally present with gratitude and you all make my heart bigger.

9 comments:

Michele said...

Kate, you are beautiful. Really, deep down, truly. Beautiful. And I am honored to know you.

Mad Hatter said...

Thank you, Kate, for always finding a positive, a kind, gentle word to say, always seeing the poetry and the beauty in the most difficult and the most mundane of days. I hope 2010 brings you all that you could possibly wish for.
Love,
Maddy

Kate said...

Hugs as always. It's astonishing how much beauty and goodness you can see around you, even when you're struggling. I wish I could be more like you!

Ji said...

A pregnant woman is the most beautiful and most amazing human in the world, you live for a new life,
you give for new meanings...
Take good care, Happy New Year!

http://www.jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com
in case you have wonders about me.

sprogblogger said...

Oh, you inspire me. Sitting here in tears, and wishing you so much joy & beauty that you can't even see the heartache of this last year anymore.

IVF 40+ said...

It's true, you are a very special person.
Eb

Robin said...

Amen,sister. Thanks for helping me see 2009 with wonder as you do. I hope your blessings in 2010 are overflowing.

Jules a.k.a. Julie said...

You truly are amazing, Kate. I second the wishes for an amazingly unbelievable 2010, filled with lots of dreams come true!

Phoebe said...

Gratitude, love, hatred, anger, sadness, whatever feelings you have for 2009, they are all valid. I wouldn't be so quick to sweep those negative feelings under the rug, because they are real, raw, and that was your experience. All I can say is that I'm looking forward to something new, a year or whatever.