08 July 2010


Hello folks!
I invite you to stop by my other blog, heartwork, starting tomorrow afternoon for a chance at a giveaway-- a few free passes to Beginning: the journaling e-workshop I hope to be running the weekend of the 16th. Come by and comment, and I'll be either giving the free passes to all of you (if there's 3) or three of you if there's more.

Of course, if you are already blogging, you have this journaling thing down. But.... if you're interested, please stop by.


On a baby note, we had a great ultrasound on tuesday- baby looks perfect, and, get this, the placenta has moved a little!... so, we'll look again in a month.
The doctor I saw is one of the ones I like most, a little more cautious, a little more informative, a little less kneejerk sunshine and roses. But he was really positive, not necessarily about the placenta about which he was cautious, but in general. My contractions (blessedly) have still maintained their slower pace (Baby Steps, I hope yours have too! And I hope you are finally past 24 weeks!)

I am tired though, deeply-- but that also has to do with life stuff. My boss told me this week that not only did he decide to cut my benefits (after saying he wouldn't) but also that my job will not be there for me when my "maternity leave" is over come January-- basically I'll be using up all of my accrued vacation and then... no job and no safety net. (He said I was always welcome part time but then would categorically not specify what part time meant). It was a shitty conversation. So I am scrambling, panicked, trying not to be or feel or, more importantly, act desperate.
I'm working my network slowly, starting with folks who know me best. Trying to use enthusiasm or interest as a barometer for what jobs to seek.

I'd just like to say how much I hate this confluence of emotionally charged events-- this wondrous miraculous pregnancy, and this shitty work situation. I am feeling really overwhelmed, like I'd like to be able to step aside from the job issue for now, but now I can't. I had been trying to do just that, I'd decided to deal with the 4 days and pay cut and figure it out later. But now, I have three months to get something ready for "after" (or sooner) if at all possible.

So, this week? Blessed beautiful baby news, and work shite. And tiredkate.
But tomorrow, friday, is My day. I have two appointments and much to do, but it will be at my pace.

Tonight once I got home, I sat out on the stoop and looked at the glorious garden-- I garden like this: there is a sparse area, I find a hearty perennial I like, plant it, water it once or twice, and then... it becomes part of the garden if it so chooses. The garden is surprisingly lush considering my hand's off approach, and tonight, as the sun set, big fat bumble bees were bumbling around the huge mound of catmint, and I have coneflower in bloom already (not usually until August!), and everything just looks so great. Yes, there is a sparse area that needs attention sometime, but that will have to wait. I chose to focus my attention elsewhere.

The cat has spent the evening at the front window yowling piteously for a neighbor cat that sometimes braves our big woods to come and visit.

And the windows are all open, fans are on, air is moving
and I have the taste of fresh peach in my mouth from one I thought I needed to put in the compost, and just at the last minute decided to bite in and see how bad it was--


Baby Smiling In Back Seat said...

I am thankful that you have so much to appreciate in spite of the other crap.

I am very excited for peach season to officially begin (not counting the cling peaches) so that I can introduce the babies to peaches. Your baby will be just the right age when next peach season starts.

If your newly official husband can't cover you and the baby under his benefits, talk to me, as I may know a way for you to get coverage.

Nic said...

I am so sorry about your work shite. That must be so hard to deal with.

I am so pleased though that you had great baby news!! Pleased the placenta has moved a little and the contractions have been keeping at bay.

Keep strong, I am sure something will come up for you, an opportunity will preset itself. All will work out ok in the end
Nic x

takingbabysteps said...

I am so sorry about the work stuff. That is awful. So happy about the baby news!!! Thank you for asking - my contractions have slowed and I am at 24w finally!!! I hope you find something life affirming to do by Jan. - but either way, you will have one life affirming event in your life by then!!!

sprogblogger said...

Heartfelt joy for the wonderful baby news - and way to go, Placenta! Keep on moving!

However, the work stuff really and truly sucks. Do you have any legal recourse? Cutting a pregnant woman's benefits? Essentially firing a pregnant woman after her "maternity leave" has GOT to be against the law, even up in NH, even at a small company. Seriously - I was astonished at how quickly my jerk-of-a-corporate-boss started to play nice once I started the 'pregnant lady' stuff. They're so opening themselves up for lawsuits by doing what they're doing to you that I'm amazed they're even trying to mess with you like this.

The Boy's BFF is an attorney in Manchester who specializes in little-guy-fighting-the-big-guy cases. He's also the lovely man who married us. He's also one of the main reasons we're considering a move up to your lovely part of the country. Email me off-blog so I can give you his contact info? He could certainly tell you if what your boss is doing is legal, and if it's not, he can give you the name of someone who can help, if he can't help himself. Seriously, he's one of the good guys and you NEED a good guy on your side right now.

This sucks, Kate and I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this at this time. Argghhhhh!

(And I'd like to throw rotten peaches at your boss for doing this to you.)

Mo and Will said...

ah shit. so sorry for the scary work news. it's ok to have moments of scared - don't beat yourself up about them. the baby will be ok. and you will figure something out - I just know it. thinking of you.


Joannah said...

I'm so sorry about your work situation! You do not need that stress in your life right now. I hope that you will find something else and that it will be fulfilling and less stressful for you.

alyssa said...

sweet, sweet kate, surround your baby with the the good things the doctor said, and channel all your anger at shitheadboss.

i know we've talked about this ad nauseum. i'd like to add that from a purely managerial point of view, your boss is an idiot. clearly he hasn't even spoken with attorneys, because unless you were fucking up royally--which i doubt--you *never* fire the pregnant lady. ever.

fight back, kate, you will win.

Jules a.k.a. Julie said...

The work stuff does suck. I would do as Sprogblogger suggested and investigate the legal aspect. I wish I could advise you as to that area of law, but it is not my speciality.

Good news on the placenta movement. Hopefully such movement will continue and that concern will go away. Hoping the contractions stay at bay.

Mad Hatter said...

I wholeheartedly agree with comments above that there must be legal recourse for what is happening - in Canada it is against the law to deny someone a position once their mat leave it up - period. It must be the same in the U.S. And...And it sounds like the best thing that could happen to you is to get a bunch of money out of this discriminatory treatment and explore other options - your boss sounds toxic and you deserve better.

Finally, while money and work and being treated with respect are all important, the big wonderful important thing is your beautiful baby - so thrilled to hear all is well.


Amber said...

I had lots to say about your crappy treatment at work, but I feel like the girls above me have said it all perfectly. This is completely unfair treatment, and the man must be a complete idiot considering that you are pregnant. Rule #1 in avoiding a lawsuit as an employer: NEVER, ever fire the pregnant girl. Hopefully you'll be able to look back at this as one of the best things to ever happen to you. :)

INeedToColor said...

I just wandered over from Kelly Rae (recently finished her e-course too). I just wanted to say - hang in there. I feel like I can say that with some authority b/c I've been there. When I was preggo with my oldest, I had preterm contractions from 12 weeks on. I had placenta previa until 32 weeks when it FINALLY moved off of my cervix. I had one miscarriage before his pregnancy, and spent the last 10 weeks on bed rest having contractions 10 minutes a part for what seemed like forever. This was pre internet explosion, and life on the lily pad was lonely. He came - a long and traumatic birth - but we both survived. Then my boss called to tell me that I didn't have a job to come back to and they were cutting my benefits. I threatened to sue for wrongful termination and was at least able to keep my benefits. It turned out to be a good thing - I ended up at another job that I liked better. We tried for baby number two then. Another three miscarriages, infertility, and then the blessed miracle of my daughter! I was still at the same job - using their hospital - which was the greatest blessing of all. She was in the NICU, we were hours from losing her before the doctor figured out what was wrong with her and saved her life. Had I not been fired from my old job for using up my leave for bed rest with #1, I wouldn't have been at the new job, and that particular hospital with the doctor who saved her life. Sometimes, life knows better than we do - and sometimes we don't get to realize that until years later. So breathe my friend. Know you aren't alone - and everything will work out exactly the way it is supposed to. Email if you ever need an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or a hug from another woman who understands. Hang in there!