I called my Dr, but they were still on lunch break. I called my sister and had her talk peacefully to me while I waited.
I called again and got a great nurse-- told her the situation including the fact that I was freaking out. Including the fact that after yesterday's all day elbow extravaganza, the baby had been quite quiet today (finally moved a lot once I lay down)... she asked all the right questions, asked them quickly, and told me she'd run it past the doc and they'd call me back. 2 minutes later a doc called back--the same doc I spoke with during the contraction-o-rama of a month ago. She said to not be alarmed, that it was "not uncommon", and that most likely by tomorrow it would be gone. She went over things to watch for/worry about (increased blood, contractions, etc..). And (thankfully) only once since then has there been anything on the TP, but gosh darn....
I've written to a few of my posse these past few days about how, even in the face of apparent success, The Fear is never far. The distance to jump toward the assumption of calamity is always shorter than the jump toward any presumption of normalcy.
I'm ok, just sorry to discover how thin my skin is (literally most likely as well as figuratively).
I like to think I am strong and resilient, but really? I am just so scared that even this far along, Something Bad Will Happen.
So yeah, that crinkling sound is me, breathing into a bag.
All is well.