Um, yeah, so, I am trying to manage my anxiety by humming quietly and rocking.
Hmmmmm hmmm hmmm
Trigger tonight at 9, ER (egg retrieval) thursday morning at 8. ET (embryo transfer), if all goes well, on Monday. Still scared out of my wits that something will go wrong and no eggs will get retrieved like last time.
Finally touched base with the finance folks at the hospital...
and found one IM needle in my bag-o-tricks
gosh. this is really something.
Pundalina, and K are just about exactly on my schedule, and sweet Traci is coming up soon if her cyst will let her get on with things.
You know how you hope for a pony, more than anything you want a pony, then maybe you get a pony and you're all like HOLY SHIT! A PONY! I feel kind of like that, please IVF IVF IVF? and then suddenly IVF! And I am all holy shit! IVF! so I am not sure what this means about my personality, I sure as hell hope I am not better and wishing than having, otherwise the next, say, 40 years or so should be interesting. I think it is more that I am used to wanting and not entirely used to getting/having/keeping (although I would like to get used to it), and I am simply not used to having the good thing happen when I get to the crossroads and it could go one way or the other.
This journey has been far from affirming.
rock, rock, rocking.
and la la la mmmmmmm la la
And, sincerely, thank you so much for all of your kind words and support!