06 June 2010


Yup, that's the logo I came up with for my new adventure, and I must say I am pretty psyched. Spent some time last night getting notes together, gathering the ideas that have been flying around inside my head, starting to think about a place-holder website-- this new project feels good. Feels like heart work. Stay tuned for more.

Week 19 starts today, can you believe it? We have the big ultrasound tomorrow (anatomy)-- again, I hope we do not find out the gender but I know it could happen. I am trying to be ok with knowing. So odd-- I am usually much better knowing than not, but in this case? I wanted to keep it mysterious for a while longer, until, say, late October.

Movements have been so much fun, so magical. By far the best part of this whole journey up until now (since the positive tests which still win).

I've gained 5 lbs, and am very happy to have no chance at all of holding in my stomach, and no way to worry about belly fat or whatever-- my body is doing what it needs to to accommodate for this amazing being, and I am humbled by the entire experience. I watch my body change with a mixture of awe and trepidation-- good lord, how big will I get? holy crap, I am already big. Big enough so people are surprised when I tell them I am due in October.And, like most women, I worry about stretch marks. But I also know that what will be will be.
I am both vain and zen. More vain, admittedly, but a wee bit zen.

Sleep is intermittent, so I am AWAKE at 4am and tired to the bone at 7...
My back aches sometimes, but nothing horrible.
I am stiff when I move after some time of stillness.
I just made plans to visit my dad in Denver for a brief weekend in early July- very very happy about this, and I planned a trip with stops so I can get up and walk.
No other complaints at all-I am so very lucky.
A lot of stuff is weird, unfamiliar, odd, but all very dealable.

Tomorrow too is The Conversation at work- boss+office manager (HR person)+me.
I dread it, and am trying to figure out how to go in with my emotional guard up and firmly in place.
Just found out we need a new roof. And the realtor today confirmed what I suspected- that the house, in this economic situation, is worth considerably less than I owe. I love the house and do not want to leave it, and now-- knowing that our only option is a short sale, well, we'll do all we can to keep it.

Rental would cover less than half of the mortgage so that is not an option either.

Looking ahead to all of the good things, and trying very hard not to get discouraged by the tough stuff right now. Sometimes, sometimes I succeed.


Sarah said...

Kate. I love the logo. Keep going. Keep creating. Good luck today, Kate. I would be an absolute wreck facing your Monday.

Elizabeth said...

Dear Kate -- thinking of you today at work and knowing you'll make it through and hoping it's not too, too awful and you can stay inside yourself to the other side of this, whatever it is. The heart is beautiful, love the logo, and can't wait to hear more about the idea. With love,

Elle said...

Will be thinking of you so hard tomorrow on both fronts.

My big ultrasound was also this Tuesday last year. I remember going to a reunion the weekend before, and having people recognize that I was pregnant and really feeling those kicks regularly. Such a special time.

Hugs to you.

Michele said...

totally agree with sarah!

fingers crossed and prayers said...

karen alonge said...

LOVE the logo! can't wait to see what comes next.