03 June 2010

quiet and allergies

Woke to the sound of rain today, which is so beautiful.
I feel like the universe is saying, shhhh, be still, this is a day for quiet.
But while I can do neither on the outside
I can try/all both on the inside.

Today I will be using a technique that has been working pretty well this week-- looking at my day in pieces, 2 hours at a time.., instead of one long stretch.
And I will try to hold my emotional side apart- observe or let pass, not engage.
I found that day-dicing helps me feel less overwhelmed.

Linda, thank you for the website suggestion! I will definitely check it out.

Life wise, pollen has me knocked flat, so I got permission to use Claritin. Claritin helps but makes me tired and blue. At I know what is causing the blue so it is easier to manage, but the tradeoff sucks. I wish I could just not have the sneezing allergies, and nose running down my face snotstorm, and perpetual sniffles, red eyes and fuzzy head. But, this way, sneezing and running are lessened, and the blue/tired is known for what it is. Hope this is very temporary.

The little one spends time being still (or moving where I cannot feel it), then it is all a flutter. I felt an external push against my hand just once last night, so that is a very cool transition.

I have holyshitI'mPregnant realizations about 100 times a day, it is astonishing to me. Both that I am pregnant and that I can forget even for a moment. But I do. Then I remember.

In response to all of the work transition, I've pulled inward, I know it. I feel it. I am trying to gather my energy and ideas for what is next. I am working on an ecourse and am excited about that. And I am also trying to run my fingers through all of the wonderful things I've been collecting in my awareness these past few years of what makes me feel good, or what I enjoy.
Not sure when my friday's off will start, maybe next week? I will meet with my boss and office manager/HR person on monday to discuss the details. I want to throw up imagining it.

But, in This moment, the sun is pushing through the clouds and the birds are calling.
Even in the rain my thrush welcomed morning with it's beautiful haunting song.
I need to get going, so I will. There are horses to admire, and greenery, and sheep and cattle and the crazy long eared brown coated donkey, there is the stream to check for flow, and the bad traffic closer to work to navigate. All distractions.

2 comments:

Mo and Will said...

kate - glad you are doing so well. you sound peaceful and centered. and yes, holyshit - you are definitely pregnant! so wonderful you are getting to feel the little one aflutter.

Mo

B. said...

I felt similarly quite often- sitting still while the bay was still, forgetting I was pregnant. Then something would change- I'd look at my big belly or the baby would move or I'd just feel the weight of the little one inside me... awesome. It's like unwrapping the best birthday present over and over again.

As for dicing your day... that's exactly what happens with a newborn. The day consists of little chunks, each made up of one eat/play/sleep cycle. During daylight, mine are 2 hours long. At night (thank goodness), they're 4-5 hours apiece. Oddly, this dicing has made the days pass at a blistering pace.

It's good to hear that you're managing the work development and allergies. I'm so excited for you and all the joy that lies ahead. Happiness to you!!