I can't whistle: meeting in the middle

29 June 2010

meeting in the middle

Sometimes you meet someone and it feels as if they are already familiar to you, a missing piece, some sort of recognition, some easy meshing of gears, yours to theirs. Words just spill and silences feel like comfort or possibility not like awkwardness.

Last night I got to meet someone I've liked for a very long time--long ago in the strange place that is the internet, I had stumbled on her blog somehow and found the most remarkable, honest, amazing, beautiful writing.

As I told her, her writing almost always knocks me flat and leaves me breathless-- Maya Stein was in town and we shared a couch and an hour of truly wonderful conversation--

I am lucky in that I do not get star struck exactly, I get almost the opposite-- star avoidance?

But Maya invited me, and I said yes. And as I walked barefoot and brave into the house, I found she is real and present and just simply wonderful to spend time with. I feel really lucky.

She's going around the country starting in September, taking her 10 line tuesdays work/play on the road for readings and workshops. I encourage you to keep your eyes open for a workshop or reading near you--I promise you, I promise, it will be worth it.

Thank you Maya!

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About this blog

I started this blog during struggles with infertility--struggles that resulted in countless IUIs, medications, procedures, 5 attempted IVF cycles, 2 pregnancies, one heartbreaking loss, and one miracle baby.

Parenthood left me feeling like I was not sure what to do here, with this amazing community. To talk about parenting felt boastful for those still and forever struggling. To not talk about it felt disingenuous. So here I am. I want to talk about my real life. Parenting. Midlife reassessment. Flailing. Finding myself. Mucking about.

So yes, I am a midlife parent of an amazing child.
Yes, I battled infertility and will be forever changed by every single moment of that journey.
I am imperfect and life is messy, but it is also so beautiful.

Among many other things, I hope to reconnect to myself through writing here. And I hope to connect with you too. Others out there, parenting maybe later in life. Maybe after struggling. Maybe struggling still. We can all use a safe place and a lot of compassion. That's what I am offering to you. I hope you'll stick around.

inside out

"The key is, starting from the inside out. Often you say, “I don’t know what to do.” True, you don’t know what to do. There are infinite possibilities. And a bunch of them haven’t worked for you. A lot of them have been tried, and they haven’t worked under what you think are the same conditions. And so, you sort of pace around, you don’t know what to do. Sometimes you don’t even know what you want to have. But you always, you always, if you will stop and think about it, you ALWAYS know how you want to feel."

--Abraham