21 February 2010

258 reasons for happy

I am feeling the love, thank you!!! You are all so very awesome- sorry if any of you felt played, I so did not mean it that way-- it was just how it came out, and also how it came down for me-- that horrible crushing sadness, then, hours later, a reprieve. I peed again last night and the line was darker still. Faint but not as faint and that is a great thing.

My first beta today: 258.
Hot damn
and hot diggity dawg we're definitely pregnant! They called with results before we were even home from the clinic. Received a very nice congratulations from a very nice nurse. She told me my number was good and strong.

This is all very good because I peed on a stick this morning and it was no darker than yesterday's so I went into a decline (aka nosedive) assuming all was lost. (I can easily make myself TOTALLY insane here. Watch me.) So this fine and good number is helping a LOT. And we'll do this again on wednesday to check for appropriate doubling.

I slept about 47 seconds last night, so I really really need to nap.
But I also do not want to miss one moment of this happy stunned giddy holyshit feeling.

Just so you know, especially those who watch themselves closely during the 2ww- symptoms of pregnancy are absent-- tired, yes. And my boobs are sore when I poke them but nothing significantly different. The only remarkable things (now that i know I am pregnant) are that I am crampy and I have the lower ab pulling sensation when I turn over (I've had that for a week and thought i was insane). And I thought I was going to throw up this morning but that was pure pee stick related stress. And a faint fucking line can still mean a fine beta, even with the best FRER test sticks.

I do not think I have ever said Please so many times in my life.
Please let this work, please let this work, please let this work.
Through some miracles, we've made it through the 5% to get this far, now I hope I can make it into the 60% that lets this pregnancy stay.

And I know I cannot say thank you enough to all of you-- thank you for pulling for me, for hoping with me, for supporting me so kindly. Thank you for crying with happiness at this admittedly surprising news. Let's hope this works. I am so ready to be off this ride and onto the next one (preferably with minimal drama).
Thank you all so much. No matter what happens, I cannot tell you what this community means to me. Without you I'd be lost.

59 comments:

Maredsous said...

Holy cow! That is a great number. Kate, I couldn't be happier for you. Happy happy, joy, joy!!!!

Phoebe said...

Wow, huge congrats! That's awesome!!

meinsideout said...

That is a FABULOUS beta!!!! I am so, so over the moon and hopeful and happy for you - please, please, please let this be it for you!

Cady said...

Congrats, Kate! I'm so, so happy for you!

sprogblogger said...

258 is a MOST EXCELLENT number!!! And I'm crying again. Can't wait to see you next week and drink orange juice and cry with happiness in person! SO VERY HAPPY!!!

K said...

I'm in tears here. Oh dear me. You are such an amazing person Kate and I have wanted this SO BADLY for you. I feel a kinship with you since you were one of the first people I started reading on this journey and this cycle- oh man, I thought about you a lot. It's weird to be this happy for someone I have never met- but I do because though I haven't sat across from you and sipped a latte, I've been privileged through your words to know your heart and your heart is beautiful Kate and your happiness right now just leaves me so happy I have no words.

K said...

HOLY SHIT! That is an awesome beta. AHHHHHH! YAYYYYYYY! I'm so excited for you. Sorry I have been absent from your blog this week. I have been so effing sick. But I will catch up soon I promise. Oh my dear, I am so thrilled for you. And that beta rocks. (My first one was 52, btw.) Congrats and much love to you.

Joannah said...

Praising God for your good news! I am so happy for you. This might be the highlight of my day. ;)

Billy said...

I am so so happy for you! Tears of joy!!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!

AshPash said...

That beta rocks! Many congratulatioins! :)

Ryan Ann said...

woo hoo!!! CONGRATS!

Barefoot said...

Congratulations on a wonderful, wonderful beta. So happy for you.

Baby Smiling In Back Seat said...

*happy dance*

What IF? said...

That is one incredible beta, congratulations! At 11dp3dt/14dpo mine was 193... Hmmm. Twins?

Nic said...

OMG OMG OMG! I am so excited and happy for you. I have tears in my eyes! Congratulations! That is a great beta! Wishing you a wonderful, happy, uneventful 9 months!
You deserve this!
Nic x

bb said...

WOW!!! awesome number, so so so HAPPY for you!!!!

IVF 40+ said...

ONG holy shite and onions, I just read the beta line and zoomed down to comment!! Oh Kate!!!! WWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I am so happy for you!
Whoooooop

Grade A said...

Dear Sweet Kate,

You have supported so many people in this community and have been such a beacon. So, first of all, thanks to YOU!

You always seem to have a magical inner light, and now there exists a very magical inner light indeed. May it shine brighter and stronger each day and bring you much joy.

I am so very truly giddily happy for you,
Magsy

BelowAverageAthlete said...

Congratulations!!!!! I am so excited for you. Long time lurker:), but had to come out to say that is the best news!!!!

Kate said...

Well holy smokes, if that's not an overachieving beta for 14dpo! So so so happy for you!
What did I say yesterday about pee sticks fooling you? Not getting darker, or being super light despite a fantastic beta drawn the same day??? So very very glad that was the case for you!
Now I'll be checking your blog frantically all day on Wed and praying that you get a great doubling time. And that you end up with just two babies in there. Because holy crap, is the high 200s ever high for 14dpo!

Lara (NoodleGirl) said...

Yeeha, yeeha, yeeha!! I'm so happy for you, congratulations!!!! I knew a line was a line!! This is so awesome and that beta is fantastic. Mine was 242 at 13dpo and I was initially pg with two, so I'll be quite curious for your first u/s!!

Sending you super beta doubling vibes for Wednesday, but I have a feeling you won't need them with a strong 1st beta like that. Oh, and no more POAS!

p.s. I don't think anyone felt played at your slow reveal yesterday, it was more like an awesome surprise! :)

Elle said...

OK -- You just about gave me a heart attack here.

I got interrupted at #4 on your previous post, and then my computer froze and I had to restart it, and then I took a shower and I was just thinking of you because I'm still using that wonderful belly oil you recommended, and I came back to my computer and read this post . . .

Oh my goodness, so, so happy for you I could just burst. That beta is amazing. You're pregnant! Kate is pregnant!

Can I say it again? So, so happy for you!!!!

Brooke said...

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Great beta!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

babyinterrupted said...

What a fantastic beta - so happy for you!

myinfertilitywoes said...

I'll be saying lots of 'pleases' for you! :)

onwardandsideways said...

HOT DAMN, GIRLIE! I am so f'ing excited for you, I can't stand it. So glad I took a peak at your blog today... I am wishing you SO MUCH good luck and sweetie, 258 is a FABBY BETA!!!!!!

You take good care of yourselves (!) and I'll be checking on you.

Sending a big virtual hug to ya!

meinsideout said...

BTW, at 13dpiui or 13dp ovulation, my beta was 216...

karen alonge said...

YES! this is most wonderful news.
hooray hooray hooray!!

Pundelina said...

Wow Kate that is a fantastic beta!!! Damn qualitative pee sticks! I'm crossing my fingers and everything else that this works out beautifully for you.

x

Anonymous said...

Amazing beta! Congrats!

Searching for Serenity said...

Hot diggity damn straight!! I KNEW IT!! I could feel the magic happening. Girl, I'm so freaking happy for you. That number is fantastical!

*HUGS*

Anonymous said...

Wow! I am so happy for you! In fact, I dont think I've ever been nearly this happy about a complete stranger getting pregnant ever. I know this can be a anxious, scary time too (at least it was for me...) - hang in there!

B. said...

Oh yes, oh yes, oh YES! Real tears, the wet kind that make my nose all runny and my eyes red for hours- they're running down my face now. I wasn't online all weekend until now, and I read this. Oh, Kate- I am SO HAPPY for you and for Doug and for your little gummy-bear bean. I was almost afraid to go online tonight, knowing that a different flavor of tears would be in my eyes if your post had been of another sort and I would have wanted to drive north to show you that there's more support here than just the internet kind... but then I worried that my belly would be a thorn... and now I want to scream a huge THANK YOU to the universe for getting it right this time!

I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep tonight. None of my friends know you, but I want to call everyone and tell them, "Kate's pregant!"

Fertility Chick said...

Fantastic beta!!! Congratulations!!!

B. said...

Kate, please hang on to that necklace for as long as you want to. Pick whatever milestone you want, even if it's the day you hold your baby (babies? that was a big beta... who knows?). I'll be cheering you on all the way!

I knew I wouldn't sleep tonight. I don't think I've been up this late in over 35 weeks, and now I'm not even tired. So deliriously happy for you!!

IrishNYC said...

Hooray!

Lisa said...

I am so completely and genuinely thrilled for you. I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed for an even better beta on Wednesday!

Lisa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
robin said...

Such happy happy news! I'm glued to your blog to follow your journey. Wishing you all the BEST pregnancy stuff.

B. said...

Woke up this morning and checked your blog again to make sure I wasn't dreaming. 258! It's still there! The world feels lighter today.

Amanda said...

CONGRATULATIONS!

niobe said...

Such great news! Wow. And wow again.

tireegal68 said...

Fantastic news! What a dramatic reveal!! So glad that it is all on the up and up! Yeah!!!

It is what it is said...

I came here by way of Sprogblogger and want to wish a heart felt congratulations on a very solid beta. I will read through your history but can see that your journey has been a long and difficult one (hmm, aren't they all that way?).
I had success at 40 with IVF/PGD and after many more attempts (including DE) for sibling have gotten off the ART track at 43.
Reading your news makes me happy as it will encourage others over 40.
I look forward to your continued good news.

strongblonde said...

omgomgomg. i've been on pins and needles!!! so so so excited for you. i feel like a schoolgirl! :)

xoxo

Jules a.k.a. Julie said...

SOOOOO SOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! AWESOME NEWS!!!!!

cowgirltn said...

What a great number. Congratulations!

My Reality said...

Wonderful news and a great beta!!

tragicoptimist said...

What fantastic news! Congratulations! I'm wishing you a very boring and drama-free pregnancy.

ifcrossroads said...

Sending you many, many congratulations on a fantastic beta!

thehuntformyfertility said...

congratulations! glorious news!

rebecca said...

Fantastic first beta!!! Congratulations, soak in the pure joy of this moment:)

Michelle said...

woo hoo! Congratulations!

t said...

yayayayayayyayayayaya!!!! i'm so flipping excited for you! yayayaya!

oh and just for your head to enjoy, my second line got fainter and fainter and fainter and i just about ruined myself with sickening despair only to end up delivering the twin peepers. so faint line be damned. you're knocked up kid!

Eileen said...

This totally made my day! so happy for you!!!! I am tears here. Congratulations!!!!

irrationalexuberance said...

You have restored my faith that all CAN be right with the world. We are both (the boy has become a reader, too) very excited for you.

meinsideout said...

Will be stalking your blog for an update!!!

Jem said...

I'm so, so excited for your amazing beta. I hope the good news continues.

Mo and Will said...

oh my gosh!!! How did I miss this? Where have I been? Wowwowowowowowowowow!!! Sending you so many positive thoughts you can't even imagine!

Mo