25 October 2010


So last night I realized that maybe, just maybe, it is time for this baby to come since I am starting to do things like creating some sort of free floating wildly far-reaching and far-fetching worrystorm-- worry about being a mom, how I will deal with my very changed and changing body, what clothes if any might fit me, learning to take care of a little one....
Shit, I am even starting to worry about labor (oddly, mostly about poo-control and associated stuff like that)...
I realized it will be so much better to deal with What Is, rather than All I Worry About-- since "what is" is bound to be a smaller set of things than my expansive and creative whatiffing...and there is power in being-in-the-moment which is completely diffused when worrying about All That Out There In SomedayMaybe Land.

So with that: Baby, I now invite you to come out and play. I will not be *more* ready two weeks from now (except in the beg-the-doctor sort of way)-- so bring it on. I am so curious to meet you! (Who is this little one???)
I love being pregnant more than I can possibly say. Yes, even in spite of the hemorrhoid I accidentally named and now cannot un-name. I feel lucky beyond measure, but I also know that I will not stand down, drop my pregnancy-worry, until this little one is on the outside.
And then? Ohhhhhh a plethora of things to worry about that are new and different!

Cold and perfectly insanely still outside. Yellow leaves, dark woods, glorious tea and sweater day. I am bundled up, and very very very happy to be working from home.


sprogblogger said...

I'm totally sure you're going to be a fantastic mom. And all the rest of it? You'll figure it out as you go along, and have a blast doing it.

Come on out, little one! You've got a whole mess of people waiting to meet you!

Circus Princess said...

Come on, little person, we can't wait to meet you :)

B. said...

Happy happy happy almost due date! I'm eager to find out who your little one is, too. Raspberry leaf tea, lots of walking, and spicy food were all a lot of fun, but I don't know if they encouraged Charlotte to come out or not. I think I started them at 39 weeks. She was born 4 days later, so maybe.

We're enjoying "Baby Signing Time, Volume 1" right now. It's full of catchy tunes and cute babies signing simple words. In fact, one of the songs has been stuck in my head all day... "These are the pets I love. These are the pets I love. Cat, cat, cat, cat. Meow meow meow meow meow." I bought volume 2 as well, but we'll stick with one until she seems ready to expand her vocabulary.

Thank you for posting daily. You know we all think the baby's here as soon as you're absent longer than a day, right? Happy brink-of-motherhood!!

Mo and Will said...

Mmmm...lovely post about worry. I hear you, every single word, even though I haven't progressed yet to the worries you have now (but hope to). Glad to hear you're welcoming the What Is rather than the What Ifs... you will cope just fine with it all, one step at a time.


Emily Erin said...

You will be just fine. Hard to believe, but you will, I promise. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, and for keeping us updated!

Kate said...

After the babe is here, you'll be far too busy and tired to do too much worrying!
(And don't worry about the labour poo - everyone does it. You could always give yourself an enema before going to the hospital if you're really worried :) )

Anonymous said...

Oh lordy, don't give yourself an enema. They did that to my sister with her first (in 1981, in California! They also shaved her!), and she said it was AWFUL!

In our cb class they said it's pretty likely that you'll poop, and that no one will even tell you you did it, they'll just clean it up and move on.

But I get it, the over all lack of control that pooping in front of others entails, is pretty intense!