23 October 2010


Hello folks!
Thanks everyone (always always) for your good wishes. It is so great to hear from some of my posse from when I first started blogging. It means the world to me that you would still check in and celebrate along with me after all of this time, all of these struggles, all of this life.

Emily Erin, thank you for the link! And yes, estimated is just that- but it gives me a number to work around, even if we go into +5, +6.... I just know they won't let me go much longer than the end of week 41 since there is no uncertainty about the date of conception.

I don't mind waiting- I know,I know, I am a freak. But really, this all seems unreal to me, and I don't have any desire to rush it. I am curious beyond measure, but also feeling very lucky. I painted my own toenails today, can still move comfortably considering my immense belly, have been blessed with low blood pressure, bladder control...
pelvic pain sucks ass (seriously) but does not hurt unless I am lounging or lying down.

But-- I guess this is the but that has faced pregnant folks forever-- not knowing when is weird.
I go out I wonder... I stay in, I wonder... I am wondering wondering wondering. Any new sensation? I wonder. A big braxton hicks contraction plus cramping, I look at the clock and I wonder... so I can definitely see how I can become consumed by wondering, by watchfulness, by peripheral attentiveness, a very low key "constant vigilance".

So thursday evening I finished my 30 prompts for November-- they're all scheduled and ready to go starting one minute after midnight on the 1st (go to my Heartwork site for a link to the prompts)-- for any of you doing NaNoWriMo or just wanting 30 little snippets to make you go hmmm.

Today, my darlin and I have been talking about a changing table that can change into a kid's desk... and he is off shortly for wood.
And I'll be baking cookies today for some folks who will come help Doug move wood piles around (not much fun) and then..... painting? some writing?
again, letting myself off the hook for worksearchstuff is really really hard.

dazzling sunshine and ice on the deck this morning,
the sun cleared the treetops at 8:08
and the moon last night, Oh my, the moon.


Joannah said...

Waiting with you! Can't wait!!!

Nic said...

OMG, is that really all you have left?!?! Where has the time gone?! Will be waiting to hear more!! So excited!
Nic x

Emily Erin said...

Yay for letting your creative side out to play-- how fantastic!

And the changing table that converts to a desk? Genius! That leads me to my next nosy question-- will there be pictures of your nursery to share, or is that to personal?

Not to sound condescending, but I am very proud of you for being able to step away from the search for work. As hard as it is, I think that you are very brave to trust that all will be well and allow yourself to simply experience the wonder and awe that is the very last few days of pregnancy.

Checking in daily and cheering!

Kate said...

Consumed by wondering is exactly how I felt at the end. My mother was here breathing down my neck and not wanting to go back home to wait for my call, and I just couldn't bring myself to do anything but stare at my navel, poke at the little feet kicking my right ribs, and count the minutes between contractions.

tireegal68 said...

So happy and excited for you, my friend! hoping all goes beautifully for you and your little one! :)