13 January 2009
1000 words, triptych
Um so yea.... Welcome to my belly. The welts are redder in real life.
That is what I get for boasting about the lupron. "Only one little bruise once!", I boasted.
Am I liking Repronex? Not so much. Guess what medication was donated to me? Of course.. of course it was the repronex to which I am responding badly. Welts that last days, and turn to bruises at the end. I am not averse to adverse side effects of the surface sort, heck, I'm a red head. Name two days in a row that were rash free... but... the kind nurse up at Dartmouth said that sometimes folks who have more significant site reactions do not respond as well to the medication in the ways we want..... and the last thing I want is to not respond (!) so she suggested a med change to Menopur (I had 6 vials here, which is 2 days worth)...
So, $1001.17 later, 18 vials of Menopur will arrive tomorrow with some more needles.
I'd like to tell you of my various foibles-- my accident with the fucQing Qcap that left about 300$ worth of medication dribbling down my hand (PRACTICE ON EXTRA VIALS OF DILUENT PEOPLE not the real stuff--- I am using the big mixing needles now, screw it).... my forgetting completely to add the lupron and having to inject myself twice yesterday morning....
I'd like to tell you that in some areas of my life I am actually competent. Although, for the life of me I am having a hard time remembering what areas those are.
So-- the stim injections: the needle! oooo so very fine. finer than the lupron needle. lovely. BUT the stuff inside? beesting. with same pain arc: ow ow OW OW ow ow ow ow ow ok ok ok ... dang that stings.... cool compresses help-- I have frozen a clementine that is just the right shape. I do not do ice well. So this is cold but not melty, great over one layer of t-shirt or whatever. Pops back into the freezer between uses.
Worst issue so far is the skin reaction, which hopefully will just resolve and the Menopur will keep from happening (today's test injection was painful and immediately red, but then, no welt! whoo hoo!)-- so I am definitely switching over. My skin and muscle hurt from this surface reaction, but my insides are quiet still. Some headachy stuff, some achy stuff.
I asked the nurse when I should expect some internal sensations and she said not before day 5. And tomorrow is day 5.
So for those wondering: does it hurt? yes, it stings like a bitch. but not for all that long. and a few days in, it is just a "yeah I know this pain" sort of pain.
For those who have listened so sweetly to my odd relationship with self injection, I say this: It is easier now than it was. It really only took about 6 days of lupron before I was "ok". Now I just do this thing. I try not to think about what I am actually doing as I put the needle in, but these are so fine, that part is truly the least of the issue. The medication itself is pretty intense. I flush bright red. But then? It's over, a 12 hour reprieve. And this is only for one more week at most I hope.
Ok, emotionally-- things are fine. No kidding. I am peaceful, uninsane, not clomid-y, not swingy... maybe this will change but for now, I'm happily me. Complete with welts and stripeypants. Hope the internet is back on at home soon, hate sneaking at work. Sorry for the intermittency.