09 January 2009

dunkin donuts

So today I injected myself in a dunkin donuts bathroom -- truly bizarre, but successful. I felt so clandestine and sneaky and equipped with secret stuff like I did when I first carried tampons.

This morning, I woke at 4:30 with a bright sky and snow and setting moon. Then again out of the oddest dreams at 6:00. I left very early to get to the clinic. Midway I stopped and did my thing at DD, and apparently that delayed me just enough so that rush hour started for real and I got stuck in traffic. Really stuck. I kept thinking it would break up and get moving, but finally I realized I was going to be late, so I called, apologized profusely, and spent some time managing my anxiety while creeping forward one car's length, then stopping, creeping then stopping. Finally made it to the clinic not too horribly late and did the ultrasound first. It was with a nice technician who told me what she was doing and seeing and gave me the immediate feedback that all looked good. I had done this whole transvaginal ultrasound once before in the midst of the mock transfer/hystosonogram visit last month so at least I knew a little about what to expect with the wand. But I am completely sure the next time will suck once anything is sore in there. Then back to the waiting room where I accidentally picked up a glossy magazine that was all about cancers but in a really amazing package- loads of information about trials, symptoms, diagnoses, survivors, thrivers, folks living with and in spite of... My other options were AARP, fit pregnancy and parenting.

After a few minutes, I was brought back into a room for a physical- which was with a great nurse practioner I would not mind seeing again-- she had humor and humanity and was smart and attentive. A really nice combination. Then down to get bloodwork, a bit of a wait in an insanely crowded little waiting room. Then done!

At 1:00 I got a call from Nancy up at Dartmouth- she said the tests were fine and I am good to go. So tomorrow? IT BEGINS. I will miss this little emotional lull that I've been experiencing. I have felt remarkably katelike. I actually laughed out loud several times when out with my dear friend Tammy on wednesday night. And I honestly cannot remember the last time I did that. Not trying to bring it upon myself, but I am pretty sure these next meds will not be so kind.

So for those interested, I am on the max dosage protocol in my clinic--which looks like this:
morning: 5IU Lupron + 150 Follistim + 75 repronex or menopur
evening: 75 Follistim + 150 repronex or menopur

Next check up? Next friday. Cue the ominous music.


Nic said...

Very exciting! Good luck, hope all goes well.

Grade A said...

It's curious how we stress about the unknown. I am stressing about the lupron and you are already over that hurdle. I am least worried about the stims, having gone through that on my last IUI-converted to IVF cycle. You are right about the ultrasounds-they do get more uncomfortable, but the next round of meds might not be as bad as you think. I only had some bloating and minor discomfort.

Good luck!

mekate said...

Thanks Nic- and thank you Grade A. For some reason I cannot comment on either of your blogs. So sorry! Nic, on yours I cannot see the secret letters (the window is blank) and Grade A, it acts fine but when I hit preview or publish it disappears!

Nic-- good luck with everything--the waiting must be hard. And you and your sweetie will fine ways to cope with all of this, and with luck you will not have to cope for long before you have a baby! I keep a list of baby things I like in a file I call somedaymaybe. No reason not to start to explore what you like, right?

And GradeA-- I sure do stress about the unknown! Did you start Lupron yet? for me the injections were no where near as awful as I expected physically, the needles are insulin needles-- and the emotional side, for me, was not bad. I was a lunatic (very sad) on clomid. I wish you success with your cycle!

Joannah said...

Just found your blog through Cycle Sistas. I'm 41 and starting my first IVF w/ ICSI later this month. There are so few of us in our forties blogging about this that I was thrilled to find you.

Best wishes for a successful cycle. I will be following along.


alyssa ettinger said...

i love you kater, you're in my thoughts as always

Sarah and Family said...

Kate, I love your laugh and I'm glad it is back.