I can't whistle: thaw

26 January 2010

thaw

January thaw is in full swing. Grass is showing where more than 2 feet of snow blanketed the ground just yesterday, fog and wind and rain have made the hillsides nearly free of snow, and the stream is running so high and fast it looks like springtime.
It is warm enough out there to be nekkid (as I said earlier to Elizabeth), and I am torn between wanting to run forward toward buds opening and grass greening and wanting to say Wait! I'm not done yet! (Sweater season suits me in many ways).
Luckily, the cold will be back, and it will not be up to me to choose.
Last night when the rain stopped, the clouds broke open and the sky was so clear that looking up felt like falling.

Today is cd2- period arrived last evening (finally) clearly, so today I went for baseline blood work (no U/S!) and I am waiting to hear about starting stims tonight. Cramps are insane but these folks are allowing me my beloved Advil. Praise the god/goddess/all-that-is. (**Update: E2 36.3 "perfect", I start follistim tonight, back on saturday for bloodwork and ultrasound**)

I dreamed last night, dreamed and dreamed and dreamed. I dreamed finally I was facilitating a workshop, a creativity workshop. Hmmm I say. Hmmmm.

6 comments:

B. said...: Perfectly perfect... what a perfect way to start! I'm rooting for you, sending positive embie vibes your way, along with telepathic hugs any time you need or want one.

This small taste of spring has been refreshing, but I'm ready for some more winter, too.; January 26, 2010 at 4:42 PM
sprogblogger said...: Hurrah on every level! Hurrah on perfect bloodwork results, and on being allowed Advil in your time of crampiness, and on dreaming such wonderful, portentious dreams. Thinking of you!; January 26, 2010 at 7:20 PM
Mad Hatter said...: Sending you thousands of wishes for a glorious cycle!
Love,
Maddy; January 26, 2010 at 9:22 PM
Sarah said...: Off to an excellent start! or shall i say EGGCELLENT! hahaha..haha...ha.... *crickets*

no seriously, congrats kate, what could be better than perfect? yippee!!!!; January 26, 2010 at 10:03 PM
Michele said...: sounds great!

(and I am with you on running through the snow!); January 27, 2010 at 11:43 AM
K said...: Crossing all my fingers and toes for you, and well, my eyes too. :) I'm glad you're starting again. Let this be it this time. Take care.; January 27, 2010 at 12:17 PM

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About this blog

I started this blog during struggles with infertility--struggles that resulted in countless IUIs, medications, procedures, 5 attempted IVF cycles, 2 pregnancies, one heartbreaking loss, and one miracle baby.

Parenthood left me feeling like I was not sure what to do here, with this amazing community. To talk about parenting felt boastful for those still and forever struggling. To not talk about it felt disingenuous. So here I am. I want to talk about my real life. Parenting. Midlife reassessment. Flailing. Finding myself. Mucking about.

So yes, I am a midlife parent of an amazing child.
Yes, I battled infertility and will be forever changed by every single moment of that journey.
I am imperfect and life is messy, but it is also so beautiful.

Among many other things, I hope to reconnect to myself through writing here. And I hope to connect with you too. Others out there, parenting maybe later in life. Maybe after struggling. Maybe struggling still. We can all use a safe place and a lot of compassion. That's what I am offering to you. I hope you'll stick around.

inside out

"The key is, starting from the inside out. Often you say, “I don’t know what to do.” True, you don’t know what to do. There are infinite possibilities. And a bunch of them haven’t worked for you. A lot of them have been tried, and they haven’t worked under what you think are the same conditions. And so, you sort of pace around, you don’t know what to do. Sometimes you don’t even know what you want to have. But you always, you always, if you will stop and think about it, you ALWAYS know how you want to feel."

--Abraham