Yesterday I learned that when sunlight shines through hemlock needles they the most exquisite emerald green.
yesterday's hike was extra wonderful- below 15 here at the house when I began, but up the hill out of the hemlock forest into more deciduous trees, sunlight makes it through and it was warm enough to unzip the neck of my jacket, and then the neck of my fleece. I sat up on a rock and simply soaked it up. Ate some snow off the piney tree next to the rock, and just looked out over the rolling hills, the gentle haze at the edge of the horizon, the bluest possible sky.
These days the sun comes up like it means it, clearing the treetops by around 9, but then it stays low, moves across the southern sky, and heads back down mid afternoon-- so our hours of sun are about 3 or 4 hours less than our hours of daylight. And I cannot express how wonderful it was to just be out in it, quiet, still, happy.
My period is two days late. Temp still up. Pee sticks negative. Just want it to start. Please.
my heart is heavy tonight for Sprogblogger who feels she has lost her twin, and for Lara (peanut noodle) for losing hers. And for Eve (infertility rocks) , who very recently lost one of her twins at 24 weeks. I can hardly stand this part-- I so celebrate when one of us WINS and so ache when things go wrong or Wrong or WRONG. And this, this all just feels shitty. I hate the fake out of low early betas, I hate the miscarriages, I hate the "vanishing" miscarried twins or triplets, I hate that we have to work so hard and beat so many odds to get pregnant and then seem so disproportionately at the wrong end of the odds when it comes to losses.
Ah, dang, it just hurts.
Just sending love out there with all my might.