26 March 2010

new snow

I woke at dawn to snow falling
a lovely fresh coating on every single tiny branch of every hemlock-- it was just so beautiful. When they're holding snow, the trees, the woods come close.
And the sky! layers and folds and ripples of every color of gray.

As I mentioned yesterday, if I lie perfectly still upon waking, my body feels like my body. Not like my body, pregnant. And there is a moment of peace followed by dis-ease-- everything ok in there? And so that is when I talk with our little one. I put my hand on my very changed belly (I don't care what anyone says about too soon to be showing, HA- see me nekkid is what I say)... I put my hand on my belly and talk to him/her. At first I kept immediately saying little guy. But now, I am no longer clear at all. Heart rate is high, so maybe girl? No matter what, I now say little one.
Little one.

Hear me: I AM SO LUCKY. No amount of ick or yuck can change the fact that I am so so very lucky.

Next appointment April 5th, 2pm, OB with ultrasound.
So help me, little one, you'd better be flourishing in there.

**updated to say, I hope to not know gender until he/she comes out happily after 9 months! Of course, since I am an ultrasound junkie, it may be revealed sooner.... but I hope I find out upon safe delivery! **

6 comments:

Pundelina said...

You are so lucky indeed.

((hugs))

Baby Smiling In Back Seat said...

Having measured my boy and girl's heart rates literally hundreds of times in utero (a month in the hospital with fetal monitoring every few hours really adds up) I can say that it is not possible to tell sex from the heart rate. Their rates flip-flopped constantly.

Enjoy the infinite possibility of your little one right now, Lucky Kate.

Kate said...

I'll scond you on saying that your litle one had better be thriving at your next appointment!
Don't trust the HR to guess at the sex - wait for definitive u/s results in a few more weeks.
Still so happy for you!!

stef said...

i've been keeping tabs on you my sweet friend - sending you love and energy! xox
stef

linda said...

You are so lucky and I am glad to read that you seem to be settling into the reality of being pregnant at last. Enjoy! :-)

Michele said...

March snow... What a beautiful treat.

Hugs, dear one... To you and your little one...