02 August 2009

15dpo, nothing to see here

la la la

um
yeah,
no.

I was not going to test today, was just not. was going to take the day off from the psychological trauma. But then I finally did anyway when I got back from my hike, because I'm kate. and no.

temp still up, no period, no positive, no idea.

limboland.

I know there are late positives
and some very late positives
and some of those turn into babies
I know it is possible, even it if is unlikely.
I know it.

And I sure hope I have one of those late positives, particularly one that turns into a baby, because really? This is sort of a mind fuck.
On the other hand, this now-into-the-3-week-wait thing is in keeping with the way this whole cattywonkus cycle has been going (that I am sure is spelled some other way than what I guessed but spell check is not helping me out). The most likely outcome I imagine is that I will get a blood test on tuesday. And I imagine I will stop the suppositories after that shows a negative. And I imagine that my period will eventually come.

And so yes. I mean no.
clear as mud.

16 comments:

Nic said...

This really is a mind fuck! Hang in there. All the time AF is not here there is still hope

Sprogblogger said...

Ugh. So sorry this is messing with you like this. ARGHHHHHH!!!!!
Hope the hike was good, at least.
Take care, sweetie. Lots of tea. Lots of toast.
You are in my thoughts!

Elizabeth said...

Mind fuck, exactly. I am not wanting to blow a bunch of sunshine and give false hope and add to the whole awfulness that is not knowing and not even knowing if you want to be vulnerable enough to hope...I figure, it's not my place, you know, everyone has to get through in the best way possible for them. But I feel led to share: I had a negetive HPT (on one of those stupid early response ones) on the MORNING of my positive beta. Maybe it was operator error. Maybe those tests just suck. Who knows. But, that's my story. Anyway, you're very much in my thoughts. Hope the hike was great and hope something happens soon to give you a sign of what is to come.

IF Optimist, then... said...

BAH Humbug. Kate, I think getting a blood test is an excellent idea. I never got a positive on a peestick with my chemical pregnancy and I didn't start bleeding until I was off the meds. I'll keep my fingers crossed in the meantime for you to be one of those late positive girls.

Melissa said...

What in the world. This process is already tough enough without all the mind games. I'm so sorry this is dragging out.

Megan said...

I'm so sorry. It's so hard to be in limbo. I hope you get some surprisingly great results from your blood test! Good luck.

t said...

ugh. such torture. i'm so sorry you're still is such a terrible limbo. damn all this waiting.

IVF 40+ said...

been there, got the tshirt and it SUCKS. I also got neg's and then a + bet. I think those POAS things should be bloody outlawed.
Hope the fireflies bring you good dreams. Hugs
EB

Pundelina said...

Aaarrgghh! What awful torture. (I'd be racing off to get bloods today.) I really hope yours show a nice HCG level tomorrow.

I think that the waiting is worse than everything in the lead up.

My fingers are crossed for you.

lucie said...

Fingers crossed. Late bloomers are my favorite sort of folk...sending you my best and warmest thoughts.

-Magsy, Grade A (not Lucie...)

Kate said...

UGHHHHHH. I hate this limbo-land. It's BRUTAL.

I've had it turn out both ways. I am REALLY hoping its a late +

*hugs*

Mad Hatter said...

You wrote the perfect haiku to describe this lingering limbo...wishing you a BFLP (Big Fat Late Positive) with all my might! XOXOXOX

Michele said...

Our RE swears to me that progesterone supplementation cannot stop a period if you arent pregnant. In our negative cycle, this was true. I took prog and AF came on 14dpo, as I was getting ready to go to the RE for my beta. I am really hoping that you have faulty pee sticks and that your BFP is waiting to make its appearance on a blood test.

Fingers crossed... Prayers said... Please, please, please...

Thinking of you and sending a hug as you continue to wait this out.

karen alonge said...

with ya. watching and waiting and hoping. still fully expecting to see a post titled "BFP!!"

xo

Searching for Serenity said...

Thank you for your note. You are so sweet.

Mind fuck, no shit! (Pardon me)
Waiting is the worst part, isn't it? Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you.

Barefoot said...

Aaarrgh! So sorry you're still in limbo. I'm thinking of you and hoping you get some surprisingly good test results tomorrow.