Another glaringly negative test at 5:30
my temp still high (progesterone)
So, I called the clinic this morning and left a message asking explicitly for a blood test and advice. (I called again a little while ago). I admit I hoped to hear back long before now, but I guess not.
and then, later in the morning
I had a little spotting, pinkish, reddish, clearish..
then none for a long while
then a little more than that, brownish this time, clearish....
I simply think my period is trying to come.
So if I had to call it? I'd call it done.
If I don't hear back, I'll test again tonight, then if negative, I'll skip the night progesterone, and just let my period come.
A CD1 lets me try again, maybe not this cycle, maybe I have to wait one out in terms of ART.
I am feeling a fine mix of resigned, exasperated, frustrated, discouraged and the tiniest slice of insane hope.
The spotting felt like a punch in the gut. But I cannot say it was surprising.
Thanks to all of you for the amazing support and hopefulness. One of these days I hope to have a positive to report, I really do.
I know my blog is relatively new, but many of the folks I started with are pregnant. It is a great thing, a wonderful thing, the thing that SHOULD happen. And honestly? I am tired of building character in these particular ways. I am ready for a positive too. A pregnancy that sticks around and is normal.
So, I hope that will come. Just not this time.