I am still shaken to the core for Mo and Will and their loss. Truly devastated. I put so much hope in success for you all-- I truly do. And I swear, if there were points to be had for tenacity and resilience, goodness gracious, they would win some sort of prize. I cannot imagine it, Cannot and do not want to.
Some of you have asked kindly about the lack of protocol this month, this month of LH surge and IUI. My clinic offered monitoring and triggering if I wanted it (after I asked)-- but the truth seems to be that since I do surge, there is no statistical benefit in triggering. It would only be helpful if I never had a detectable surge. Otherwise, literature says there is a better chance of success with my body doing the work rather than the hCG trigger--
Granted, the odds truly suck either way. But by doing the IUI at least I feel I am doing something to improve the chances over a natural cycle.
I talked to my darlin' about it all since he is discourged too, since even clomid IUIs never worked for us. He will help me decide if we need to do something differently, but to be honest, the papers I read indicated no improvement with triggering for a non--super-ovulatory cycle so I am not feeling compelled.
As I said a few days ago, this month is one of survival, of grief management, of distraction. The TTC thing, while present, is not consuming this month. The lack of injections helps it take a back burner since most days this month, I will "need" to do absolutely nothing-- just wait, just be. And that is too bad really, since I could use it being consuming this time around.
Odd how I bitch about it one month, and long for it the next. Sillykate.
Yeah, August. You may bite me.