Here is what you shared:
music- really, really listening to the lyrics, and hearing hope there, and the wonder and power of Yes
imagination-- letting ourselves open to an idea or experience that we can imagine and connect with, one we would like to experience
clouds-- watching them pass slowly overhead
fully experiencing a wonderful sensory bath of yielding cushions, gentle breeze and humming fan
reading something thought and joy provoking (aww thanks!)
breathing, deeply and consciously, slowing down, and being in the moment
and reveling in successes, like really challenging ones of habit breaking...especially those right at our fingertips!
Thank you so much for sharing your ideas and experiences!
See? and what did it cost? 10 seconds. So worthwhile I think. I just hope I remember to do it!
I had a wonderful, healing energy balancing session last night that felt like the right key turned in the right lock and I am much better. I think the trifecta of taking care of myself through the intellectual and emotional side (therapy), the physical side (yoga) and the spiritual side (energy balancing)-- just the very act of doing these things has helped. I feel much less mired.
I have one more big hurdle to pass, one of those shitty anniversaries: September 11th for obvious reasons but also for much more personal reasons-- it would have been my 10 year wedding anniversary. I just have to remember to keep taking care of myself and reaching out for help and support when I need it. Sometimes being or acting independent and strong is great, but sometimes it is bullshit and alienating, and sometimes it is nice to open myself up to feeling supported.
Remember how I said I was not really expecting success this cycle so the 2 week wait was sort of un-loaded? Still mostly true, but as I move into this sweet spot of potential implantation, I am aware of being aware, I am aware of being watchful, and hopeful, and on sort of an oblique I'm-not-really-peeking lalala symptom watch.
So, yeah, good intentions and all that. But I am not all wrapped up. Yet. Tonight I found myself being bad in a tiny little way (green tea with dinner)-- and realized I am kinda tired of doing all the right things (dhea, yoga, diet, no caffeine, acupuncture...) and having it not work, so apparently I was feeling like cheating just a tiny little bit.
So yes, countdown to the end of August, I will not miss you.
And count up to the next few weeks and overall September craziness.
But for now? For 10 seconds I will watch my darlin' while he's not looking, and just really enjoy being right here, right now.