So yesterday I promised myself I would try to stay calm in spite of being back at work, and I mostly succeeded.
And I promised myself I would focus on all that is good, and that includes allowing myself to feel hopeful that one or both of these little ones will be chromosomally normal and, if so, decide to stick around for the duration.
Such a heavy frost fell over night it looked like snow, but each blade of dried grass was frosted and sparkly. This is not a colorful season, but there is such beauty-- a big apple tree that sits in the middle of a tangled hillside is bare except for fist-sized yellow apples that hang like ornaments.
And the sun, when it hits the street signs, pulls steam upwards as water goes from ice to air.
I catch myself being worried or negative (over and over and over again), and then I gather myself together, move myself one inch toward the positive, open my eyes and really look around. I hope I can keep this up- it's an effort to be sure, but it is brings me back again and again to such a more peaceful place.