06 November 2009

partially un-eclipsed

Better today in some ways, I feel halfway out of that shitty place, partially un-eclipsed, half bounced. But gosh, I am raw, nerve-exposed, quick to blue... Gotta LOVE these hormones. Oh yeah.
I feel hijacked, I was heading for St. Croix (I WISH) and ended up in Hoboken.

So-- in trying to stay (or get) centered-- my most recent 10 seconds of beauty was watching the shadows of the leaves flicker on the wall here, through the vertical blinds. The sun was just right, reflected off of the windshields in the parking lot (romantic, eh?) and inside near me on the wall, the shadows danced. It only lasted a few minutes, but it was delightful.

The trees right outside the office are still in leaf, gorgeous burgundy and raspberry shiny leaves, and each branch seemed to change on its own time so some are bare, some are brilliant and some are just turning.

Tomorrow morning I get an ultrasound/E2. I feel *full*, especially on the right side, so I am hoping that this is going well, but not too fast. This is only day 4 and I am not used to feeling like this. Hello right ovary! I am looking forward to feeling hopeful. Beloved Maredsous is right, I must have some faith in this otherwise why do it? And she is right, I believe it *can* work. And because it can and might, I have to try. I'll update after tomorrow's appointment.


Phoebe said...

"Believe" is my motto right now, too. Good luck with the u/s tomorrow!

Mad Hatter said...

Go Right Ovary! Go faith! Looking forward to your update...

irrationalexuberance said...

I love your 10 seconds of beauty. I'm happy that you are emerging out of the blue place, and wish you all the best tomorrow morning. Go Kate's ovaries, go!

Anonymous said...

Come on righty!!

Michele said...

fingers crossed!