planting seeds

Seeds are planted at the dark of the new moon. And today is that day. The prime day for planting, and these next two weeks are prime weeks for growing as the moon grows. So, I am hopeful!

2 embryos, a 6 cell A- and a 5 cell C. All 5 retrieved were mature, 4 fertilized, but 2 fertilized abnormally (one with two sperm like last time, the other just listed as "abnormal").

For those of you into the details:

Bladder management sucked today, but I peed 4 times, small amounts, trying to get comfortable. I swear my bladder is the size of a thimble.

Started driving at 9, got there at 10:40 or so and they recognize us now so checking in means just saying good morning, peed, then peed again. Then peed as they took us back (oh how very difficult to pee small amounts!). Got a great hug from Deb our nurse from the last round, was taken into the room to state my name and intention and to meet the nurse in training, undressed and got the PIO shot. The shot sucks rocks, but compared to the bladder it was not awful. I do not envy anyone who does more than two of those injections a cycle, I've used up both sides. Friday's side is still sore. And then... waited. waited. waited for the doc. My lovely nurse went to scout him out and I got dressed and peed a dixie cup's worth again (bless the scheduling person for letting me use the staff bathroom, she understood my duress)- then back in the room-- sweet Sharon (my favorite nurse) came back with the nurse in training, some hair nets and face masks and the news that doc#1 was tied up and sweet doc#2 would do the transfer. BLESS HER. So, onward! Then things went in fast forward-- ultrasound tech came in, doc came in, embryologist, they positioned me, dropped the table bottom, verified who I am and all my numbers, gave me the embryo report (whew!), then the speculum went in while the US tech pushed so hard on my bladder I almost cried, but it all worked out and I heard more than usual about the process since the doc was telling the nurse in training what she was doing and why and it all went fine. The doc was great with the catheters and the US tech was great communicating with me, and then I got to see them, my two fireflies right exactly where they were meant to be. In the middle of the middle of me.

15 minutes later I peed! Whoo hoo! Best thing ever. Then I could concentrate on enjoying knowing the two little ones are inside me right this very moment.

So, with all the peeing, I bet you're wondering, ok Ms. Big Gulp, exactly how much did you drink? 1 normal sized bottle of water. Thimble I tell you....thimble.

Then, home via acupuncture while my sweetie went grocery shopping, so dinner is in the oven and will smell great soon Moroccan chicken somethingorother that smells divine....

My wonderful observation of the day? As we drove through the most beautiful landscape, I saw dark clusters at the tops of a lot of the piney trees--and after many miles and straining my eyes and guessing (birds? no..), I finally realized they are pinecones! Still up top, clustered into knots in just the highest branches. The bottom branches are already bare of them.

And,

I am reading this magnificent book that I started this morning- Pema Chodron's Taking the Leap. The first chapter includes a discussion of how in any moment, we have tendencies toward anger/fear and tendencies toward love/acceptance. A father tells his son this in a parable with two wolves, two wolves that live inside us. The son asks his father which one will win, and the father answers, whichever I feed.

Today, I will feed the wolf of love and acceptance. You know why. That is the wolf that needs to win.