100

Wow, my 100th post.
Since last November, somehow there've been almost 6000 visits to my blog (ohmygosh THANK YOU!).
I never would have imagined when I began that by this point I would be pregnant. What a colossal surprise...
or that I would have the opportunity to meet such wonderful people in this on-line community... that through the blog I would reconnect with such a dear and beloved friend (Jane)-- and that I would forge a new kind of connection with a loved relative (Jenn)...

I never would have imagined how touched I would be by your stories, and how loudly I would cheer, or how sad I would be with successes and setbacks. And I never would have imagined just how supported I would feel.

You all make me feel much less alone in the scary things and in the uncomfortable admissions, and the strange weird crazy world that is the IF journey, and then, finally, the strange and crazy world of pregnancy after IF journey which is so much less simple than I expected.

So--
Me? I'm better today (yesterday clearly sucked rocks). I am pretty pragmatic and often just need to do something to feel better so I did-- I gathered information, I asked for support, and I gave myself a talking to last night-- told myself that blue and tired this morning was ok, to be expected, a good sign. And through some miracle I slept through the night for the first time since my positive test result.

So thanks to all of you-- this morning, I am coping much better. A little less tired, a lot less blue.
As my sister says, when you are this tired, it is hard to know what is tired and what is blue. At least on the inside, on a normal day, I am a pretty active and energetic person-- to feel otherwise is totally foreign. And this pregnancy is simply kicking my ass.

I will need to keep reminding myself (to overcome my pathological emotional amnesia) that this is normal, this is normal, this is normal. And, with any luck at all, in about a month, I'll be pulling out of it and into the twinkly starry skied land of second trimester. But today? 8 weeks. Sprout is the size of a blueberry.
And me? I'm bigger than a breadbox.