In my previous life, I would take this mood on a hike- but since that's not allowed, I did some yard work and work in the garden, and made great progress out there. But I got really really tired even though I was being pretty careful. And when I realized I needed to stop, it was more because I was watching myself and said- if I were a friend of mine, what I would I say?
I came inside and changed our of my dirty clothes and lay very still on the sofa for a few hours, not sleeping, just staying very still-- feeling almost paralyzed by the heaviness of the exhaustion and the mood. Not exactly sad. Not exactly bereft. More like deeply disheartened.
I finally started feeling better after a long while, but it was a doozy.
Tonight I am feeling more like myself again. I have another blood test tomorrow. I am obviously hoping for some good news. Maybe that will help allay my fears some. Or maybe this is just part of the hormone hootenanny. I am not sure but I am sure I don't like it.
In an attempt to save myself and remind myself of my highest and best (or at least my ability to fake it), I am adding a wonderful button from the amazingly talented and oh-so-very-honest swirlygirl both in this post and on my sidebar.
On a separate note, anyone else find it bizarre that one's week of pregnancy is counted from the date of last missed period? So, even though I am just about 3 weeks pregnant in real life (3 weeks tomorrow) the universe says 5 weeks. If you look up early embryo development stuff, it starts with week 1, "you have your period". Um. Ok. So with this time travel technique, this means my ultrasound next monday (should-we-be-so-lucky)- is the first day of week 6. HOLY SHIT. I hope this works.