I can't whistle: 976

03 April 2009

976

The beta results came early today-- 976. Doubling rate is slowing and I am trying not to get neurotic about that. All still fine and normal and my amazing nurse is still happy so I need to try to calm down.

We'll do it again on monday.

I swear this is so incredibly nerve wracking.

7 comments:

Elizabeth said...: I think it is supposed to slow as it nears 1000. Looks good! Check out "batabase" if you want to compare your numbers to other successful pgnc. -- there's a huge range. I obsessed over my betas (they were v. low and slow to double), and it was all for nothing -- turned out fine. Enjoy, enjoy. Best to you!; April 3, 2009 at 12:39 PM
Anonymous said...: I'm glad they're keeping an eye on you, but as long as a nurse you trust is still optimistic, I would be too.

Of course, I say that knowing that worrying is what you and I DO these days.

Fingers crossed, & waiting to hear more on Monday.; April 3, 2009 at 1:23 PM
karen alonge said...: sending my love and confidence that everything is fine.

I know it sounds weird, but maybe you could even sort of enjoy the worrying? it's rather sweet to have something so concrete to worry about, in a twisted sort of way...

big hugs,
karen; April 3, 2009 at 1:35 PM
Eb said...: I bet it's nerve racking but try and focus on what your body needs you to do now; rest and breathe deeply so that bean can do it's thing.
thanks for being so supportive whilst your going through so much, you are amazing.
EB; April 3, 2009 at 2:03 PM
JB - A.K.A. Jenn said...: Still praying for you - it will be okay!!! Hang in there and know your lil bean is growing!
Hugs; April 3, 2009 at 2:30 PM
Anonymous said...: ((HUGS)) i think beta hell is way worse than the 2ww; April 3, 2009 at 7:36 PM
onwardandsideways said...: This blog post doesn't get into betas, but it may help a bit. The numbers are all over the charts for everybody. If your nurse is still not panicked, then I don't think you need to be either. Fingers and toes crossed for you... and yes, do 'normal' pregnant ladies get to suffer like this? No, they do not. Jeez!

http://abeautifulday.blogs.com/a_beautiful_day/2004/12/when_ivf_works_.html; April 3, 2009 at 9:01 PM

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About this blog

I started this blog during struggles with infertility--struggles that resulted in countless IUIs, medications, procedures, 5 attempted IVF cycles, 2 pregnancies, one heartbreaking loss, and one miracle baby.

Parenthood left me feeling like I was not sure what to do here, with this amazing community. To talk about parenting felt boastful for those still and forever struggling. To not talk about it felt disingenuous. So here I am. I want to talk about my real life. Parenting. Midlife reassessment. Flailing. Finding myself. Mucking about.

So yes, I am a midlife parent of an amazing child.
Yes, I battled infertility and will be forever changed by every single moment of that journey.
I am imperfect and life is messy, but it is also so beautiful.

Among many other things, I hope to reconnect to myself through writing here. And I hope to connect with you too. Others out there, parenting maybe later in life. Maybe after struggling. Maybe struggling still. We can all use a safe place and a lot of compassion. That's what I am offering to you. I hope you'll stick around.

inside out

"The key is, starting from the inside out. Often you say, “I don’t know what to do.” True, you don’t know what to do. There are infinite possibilities. And a bunch of them haven’t worked for you. A lot of them have been tried, and they haven’t worked under what you think are the same conditions. And so, you sort of pace around, you don’t know what to do. Sometimes you don’t even know what you want to have. But you always, you always, if you will stop and think about it, you ALWAYS know how you want to feel."

--Abraham