I can't whistle: 11dpo, tonight

29 July 2009

11dpo, tonight

I will not be testing until tonight, and right now I wish I could say I was calm or at least resolute. But really, very much unlike this serene image whose link was lovingly sent to me by Magsy at GradeA, I am much more like the worlds largest ball of rubberbands.

But with at least some parts of me, this is the serenity I quest for and hope someday to allow:

Image used with permission by the very generous Corinna: www.corinnaluyken.com , http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5111922

I am teaching all day so will not check in until tonight, you know, for the post-first-pee-stick-post.

Hope I don't spontaneously combust before then.

10 comments:

sprogblogger said...: Beautiful image - I'm on my way to check out her etsy shop right now.

We'll all be right there with you, waiting to see those lines. Damn, Kate, my fingers are crossed so hard for you on this one that I can barely type.

Please don't spontaneously combust today. Drink tea. Breathe. No combustion.

Thinking of you all day long.; July 29, 2009 at 8:58 AM
B. said...: It's too humid for spontaneous combustion. I think that only happens in the southwest anyhow. SEriously, though, I am crossing all my fingers and toes and holding my breath thinking of you. It might be a long day- I'm glad you're busy.

Good luck!!; July 29, 2009 at 9:03 AM
Nic said...: Well done for the restraint! I hope the peeing on the stick brings you what we are all hoping for. Will check in later to see if there is any good news. I really hope there is.; July 29, 2009 at 9:13 AM
Anonymous said...: thinking of you lady. crossing fingers and toes.; July 29, 2009 at 10:33 AM
Eb said...: thats me - praying and hoping and begging and pleading and wishing and hoping for you, dear Kate.; July 29, 2009 at 12:12 PM
JB - A.K.A. Jenn said...: Dear sweet Kate,

Just know I am quietly praying for you hon! Positive thoughts your way!

Hugs; July 29, 2009 at 12:36 PM
Michele said...: fingers crossed tightly!!!; July 29, 2009 at 12:45 PM
Melissa said...: Wishing and hoping for you!; July 29, 2009 at 3:08 PM
Phoebe said...: Hang in there! Is serenity possible in the 2ww? Wishing the best for you!; July 29, 2009 at 3:53 PM
Mad Hatter said...: Thinking about you tonight, sweet Kate - sending lots of happy wishes and good energy your way! XO; July 29, 2009 at 8:23 PM

About this blog

I started this blog during struggles with infertility--struggles that resulted in countless IUIs, medications, procedures, 5 attempted IVF cycles, 2 pregnancies, one heartbreaking loss, and one miracle baby.

Parenthood left me feeling like I was not sure what to do here, with this amazing community. To talk about parenting felt boastful for those still and forever struggling. To not talk about it felt disingenuous. So here I am. I want to talk about my real life. Parenting. Midlife reassessment. Flailing. Finding myself. Mucking about.

So yes, I am a midlife parent of an amazing child.
Yes, I battled infertility and will be forever changed by every single moment of that journey.
I am imperfect and life is messy, but it is also so beautiful.

Among many other things, I hope to reconnect to myself through writing here. And I hope to connect with you too. Others out there, parenting maybe later in life. Maybe after struggling. Maybe struggling still. We can all use a safe place and a lot of compassion. That's what I am offering to you. I hope you'll stick around.

inside out

"The key is, starting from the inside out. Often you say, “I don’t know what to do.” True, you don’t know what to do. There are infinite possibilities. And a bunch of them haven’t worked for you. A lot of them have been tried, and they haven’t worked under what you think are the same conditions. And so, you sort of pace around, you don’t know what to do. Sometimes you don’t even know what you want to have. But you always, you always, if you will stop and think about it, you ALWAYS know how you want to feel."

--Abraham